The Guide to Pranking (by Lily and Petunia Evans)
by Nesma
Summary: Petunia Dursley's habit of searching for people's secrets merely stems from the fact that she has quite a few of her own. Her insecurity about the few that haunted her made her paranoid and itching to know everyone's while being privy to her own. After all, not many know about the pranks between herself and Lily in September of 1976. (hints of L/J).
1. Prologue

**Title:** The Guide to Pranking (By Lily and Petunia Dursley)  
**By:** Nesma  
**Disclaimer:** Do not own any of the characters. Except for Buck. He's like my dream pet.  
**A/N:** Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Petunia Dursley's habit of searching for people's secrets merely stems from the fact that she has quite a few of her own. Her insecurity about the few that haunted her made her paranoid and itching to know everyone's while being privy to her own.

She never shared to Vernon why she told him how much she despised owls the day Harry came through the front door with a snowy white owl.

Vernon whole heartily believed, as he told her multiple times, that her hatred of such an owl must be to how _odd _it was to have a pet owl. How annoying the bird was with the squawking of displeasure, the ruffling of feathers, and the cooing as Harry took care of it. How pestering it was that the bird rattled in the metal cage late at night, allowing the entire house to hear echoing of metal and talons. How absolutely unhealthy it was to have a bird in the home (should it be vaccinated?).

Petunia simply nodded her head and told him, 'Quite right!' before focusing on another task. Her desire for a change of topic the first time and every other time afterwards came right away. Thank goodness or otherwise she would have had to tell Vernon about the time that James Potter's owl destroyed her bedroom.

Of course, that was a secret that stayed with her and the dead.


	2. The Handy Sidekick Buck

**Title:** The Guide to Pranking (By Lily and Petunia Evans)  
**By:** Nesma  
**Disclaimer:** Do not own any of the characters. Except for Buck. He's like my dream pet.  
**A/N:** Hope you enjoy!

* * *

_September, 1976._

There was a soft knock at Petunia's door as she glanced up from the book she was reading on her bed. She smiled to herself as she pushed herself from a lying on her stomach to a sitting up position (it could only be one person). She grabbed the tattered bookmark on her bedside table to mark her place in the novel. "Come in." She said, as her mother timidly stepped through the threshold.

Her mother stood in the room clutching a piece of parchment, her red reading glasses perched on her nose while she smiled at Petunia.

"Tuney, I was wondering if you've seen some of Lily's clothes?" Her mother asked, squinting at the letter that was in her weathered hands.

"Which ones? She has a lot you know." Petunia said, a small smile on her face as her mother laughed with her and gingerly took a seat on the bed as she read over the list again, biting at her lower lip as she reread the list for what must have been the thousandth time. Mrs. Evans was the type of mother who went the extra mile for her children, like rereading a list every time to ensure that no item is forgotten on there.

"The girl does like her clothes." The mother said looking up from the list, "But have you seen her blue cardigan? Or her blouse top? Or her yellow dress?" The mom asked exasperatedly as she looked around the clean and neat room; perhaps in hopes that the clothes would come out of their hiding spots.

Petunia coughed as she rearranged her hands on her lap. And focused very hard not to guiltily glance at her closet or drawers. After all, the dress _did _look better on her than it did on Lily. She pushed a strand of the blonde hair behind her ears and gave a small smile to her mother.

"No. Haven't seen them. I'll keep an eye out for them." She said, shrugging her shoulders as her mum let out a tired sigh.

"Well, she won't be happy but I've already searched her room-"

"It's a _mess _in there. How are you supposed to find anything?" Petunia said in a judging tone as the mom laughed a bit.

"Don't be harsh – you know she left in a hurry. She knows better but, it's okay just this once." Her mum said, gently standing up and wincing a bit. Petunia would hardly consider her mum old but the joints had started to ache and it was a hassle for her mum at times to be as active as the others were.

"Still hurting?" Petunia asked softly as the mum nodded, one hand to her face while the other was on her back. Her eyes were closed as she took deep breathes to ease pains in her bones.

"I've been better. I'm going to finish this letter and rest for a bit." Her mum said quietly, stepping lightly on the floor and leaving the room. It was only then when Petunia looked towards the drawers.

It wasn't as if Lily was going to come home soon looking for them. There was no harm done here.

* * *

Remus Lupin enjoyed his quiet mornings. He liked coming into the Great Hall when they were hardly any souls. A chance for him to sit down, enjoy some breakfast and the ceiling above. Usually, Remus was left alone with his thoughts. On occasion, Prongs would join him after a long quidditch practice. However, Prong was usually splattered in mud or grass and hardly spoke a word. Prongs was usually very focused on eating and cleaning up. Conversations between the two were non-existent in these early hours.

Besides Prongs, Remus could say with utmost certainty that hardly a soul would venture to the Gryffindor table at these early hours. However, today was the day to prove him wrong.

"Morning!" Lily said brightly, quickly tucking into the table and filling her plate with toast and eggs.

"Morning." Remus replied evenly. Though he was content with his mornings, he did like how _quiet _and _calm _they were (living with three very excitable boys made it nearly impossible for him to achieve any of the above).

"Looks like the weather is going to stay moody." Lily grimaced, as she started to put some butter on her toast.

Remus merely looked up and nodded. The clouds were the typical grey and white shades with a hint of sunshine filtering through. Very much a normal day at Hogwarts.

They sat in silence but not the same quietness that Remus was used to at these hours. Lily was fidgeting in her seat, bobbing her head from side to side, her eyes were bright as if she slept for several hours, and she kept sweeping her hair behind her ears. And then, to make matters a tad more irritating, Lily would crane her neck back and scan the ceiling as if she were waiting for it to collapse or something.

"Waiting for something?" Remus asked politely, getting Lily to snap her head to make eye contact with him.

"As a matter of fact, yes, I am." Lily said placing her half eaten toast back on the plate in front of her. "I am expecting a package today from my mum." Lily said, taking a sip of the pumpkin juice before continuing, "I left some clothes behind and wrote to her a while ago about said missing items - including a very nice dress of mine. Anyways, they should be coming in today's mail." Lily finished, taking a bite from her toast and covering her mouth with a cupped hand, "And you? Why are you here?" She asked hastily.

Remus gave her a small smile, "I am usually up this early every day." And he nearly laughed when Lily's nose wrinkled in a state of distress with her eyebrows brunched together. "I know, I know, it's rather unusual but I'm in the nasty habit." Remus said, grinning as he took a sip of his own pumpkin juice.

"Must be so lonely." Lily murmured, taking another bite of her toast.

Remus shrugged. "Sometimes people join me, other times, it's just me." Remus stated, before getting back to his own breakfast.

Of course, it was at that moment that Prongs came stumbling to the spot next to him. Remus turned his head to see Prongs collapse onto the seat, his robes were fairly clean but the exhaustion was clear from the way he slumped to how long it took him to realize that Lily Evans was only across the table from him.

Remus nor any other member of the Marauders could really explain the sheer stupidity that Prongs exhibited around Lily. Though there was that one burst of arrogance when James asked her out in front of the school, there were other subtle hints unaware of most of the population of Hogwarts of how he felt about Lily.

Remus sighed as Prongs snapped his head up when Lily told him, "Morning!" brightly. Suddenly, Prongs sat up straighter, and he was ruffling his hair to make it messier than usual. Even though the prat had _just gotten off a broomstick. _Which anyone, literally anyone, could tell since he was wearing his quidditch robes.

"Morning." Prongs said back, a tone deeper than usually, as he went for the sausages and bacon. James piled an exuberant amount of meat items on his plate and Remus coughed politely into his pumpkin juice as he took a sip.

Because Prongs was a fan of French toast and sweeter things in the morning. He usually ate one sausage for 'protein reasons' and that was it. Remus had no idea if Prongs thought that this was a 'manlier' meal and if he truly thought Lily would be impressed by the amount of meat he was able to swallow.

"Take it you had quidditch practice this morning?" Lily asked politely, giving a look of bewilderment at James' plate before stuffing the rest of her toast in her mouth.

"Yes. Yes I did." Prongs said haughtily, as if he was so bored by this conversation as he fished for something in his pocket. It was a tone that Remus had overheard him practicing after watching some James Bond film (Prongs liked the idea that an amazing spy shared his name). Remus bit his lip as Prongs pulled out a very old golden snitch that flapped its small wings weakly as Prongs placed it on the table in front of Lily.

Remus took a deep breath as he tried very, very hard not to laugh at his friend's attempts. While James Bond could show up flashy items and expect the crowd to awe over it, Prongs had better look elsewhere.

Lily squinted her eyes at the snitch before asking, "Why do you have a snitch? Aren't you a chaser?" Lily asked politely as Prongs started to shovel his meal in his mouth.

Unfortunately, Prong was not used to talking to Lily Evans this early in the morning. He was used to Remus being very quiet and him eating as much as he could in as little time as possible. So, when posed with the situation of talking to Lily or eating a lot; Prongs tried to do both. Which resulted on him mildly choking on the first word.

"Slow down Prongs. She can wait." Remus said in a joking matter as he slapped Prongs on the back. Prongs coughed violently and hid behind a napkin as Lily laughed. Remus hoped his friend wouldn't take it as encouragement to continue choking.

"Thanks Moony." Prong said weakly, the color returning to his face as he took a large gulp of pumpkin juice. Lily just smiled politely as she grabbed for a second piece of toast and some jam to go with.

"Uh, yeah. I'm a chaser but, you know, caught the snitch once and thought it would be a cool good luck charm. Or something. Not that I really need the luck, you know?" Prongs rambled, using exaggerated gestures to the snitch while quickly taking a bite from his meal.

Remus had to look up to control himself from laughing at Lily's polite, yet bewildered, expression of Prongs' speech this early in the morning. _Padfoot will die of laugher, _he thought happily to himself as he continued his own meal.

"Yeah." Lily said, bobbing her head as she scanned the sky again for the owls.

"They should come in a few minutes." Remus told her, looking down at his watch as he looked up at the sky as well.

"What should?" James asked, turning his head between Remus and Lily. "The owls." Lily said excitingly, "I should be getting a package from home today." Lily said brightly and smiling at James as she took another bite into her toast.

"That's nice." James said, after loudly swallowing and taking a long swig from his goblet. Remus wondered if James loud swallowing (and chewing for that matter) were another way to make noise to attract Lily.

It was time like these that Remus wished his friends could telepathically talk to one another, so that he could remind James that he wasn't, and nor was Lily, a bird in the wild.

"What are you expecting?" James asked her politely, tilting his head to the side as Lily finished chewing her latest bite.

"Clothes I left behind – ah!" Lily pointed to the ceilings and clapped her hands together as the owls started swooping down upon them. Remus' copy of the _Daily Prophet _fell dangerously close to his drink. James' grey owl hastily dropped a letter in front of him before resting on his shoulder. James' owl, Buck, was incredibly fond of his owner (probably because James shared the food off his plate with the owl. It was a little much to be honest). However, a long white envelope was dropped in front of Lily rather than a package.

"Oh." Lily said in a disappointed tone as she started to open up the envelope. Her eyes scanned the letter as her eyebrows furrowed.

"That's weird. My mum couldn't find what I was missing." Lily said, her lips turned into a small scowl as she opened up the envelope again and grabbed something else. "She sent me photos instead of a family reunion that happened after I left to 'cheer me up.'" Lily mumbled to the boys as she pulled the photos from the envelope.

While James put Buck on his lap and started feeding him some bacon (Remus was almost _positive _it was only because he took too much), Lily let out a gasp and her jaw nearly hit the table as she started to quickly look through the photos.

"That. Little. Wrench." Lily growled, as Prongs looked at Remus with wide eyes (his stag habits tend to come out in stressful moments). "Uh, is everything okay?" Prongs asked hesitantly, as he petted the top of Buck's owl as the owl munched happily on the bacon.

Lily shook her head as she thrust a photo of a very tall blonde girl smiling brightly to the camera. It was muggle photo, so the girl stayed in pose with her hands on her hips as she continued to stare at the camera.

"She, uh, looks horrible?" Prongs asked in a confused away as he quickly grabbed his snitch as Lily shook her head impatiently.

"That's my dress! She stole my dress! Tuney stole my clothes! Argh!" Lily said angrily as she grabbed the photo back and glared nastily at the offensive pose. As if Tuney was there to face the wrath of Lily Evans.

"Well, ask for it back?" Remus ventured in a confused way as Lily shook her head once again.

"She won't give it back easily." Lily said, as she flickered through the rest of the photos. "Oh, there's my cardigan! And there's my shirts!" Lily muttered bitterly as she threw the photos to the side.

"She clearly lied to my mum about having my clothes." Lily said exasperatingly as she slammed her hands on the able. Prongs jumped a bit in his seat, his eyes still wide while the bird continued eating the rest of his breakfast. Remus, on the other hand, was merely puzzled as to why Lily was talking about clothes as if it were war.

"I'm sorry, but why can't you ask, uh, Tuney for your clothes back?"

"She's your sister, right?" Prongs asked, cutting off Lily before she spoke who gave a nasty look towards Prongs.

"Yes. Yes she is. My darling older sister." Lily stated, drawing her lips in to make a thin line which meant that she was distracted when Prongs smiled to himself and he was practically _patting himself on the shoulder. _Remus jabbed him at the side and Prongs quickly stopped his self-congratulating and focused on Lily.

"If I was there I would merely rummage through her stuff and steal them back. But I need her to do it somehow on her own." Lily said thoughtfully to herself as she stared down at the photos.

"Sometimes, when I want Padfoot to reply to me faster, I tell Buck to peck at him for a few minutes so he gets the hint." Prongs said weakly as he petted the owl on the head as Buck just cooed in agreement.

"I thought you two lived together?" Lily asked suspiciously, her eyes narrowing down on the bird as James scrambled for an answer.

"Well, I mean, that was before." James hurriedly said, and then a grin came on his face and he placed his hand quickly on the table. "You know what though? We once told Buck to just make an absolute mess in Padfoot's room when he left his house – you know as a revenge sort of thing and he just destroyed that room. Well, according to Reg that is." James said brightly and Lily started to mimic the smile on his face.

"Tuney does hate messes…" She said trailing off while looking at the bird with a new sense of appreciation. There was a mad glint in her eye that Remus was unaccustomed to and it frankly made him feel a little nervous.

"Lily…" He said warningly as Lily bit her bottom lip, a wide smile on her face as she kept on looking down at the photos and at the owl. "Do you think, I mean as long as it's okay with you James to borrow your owl?" Lily asked happily.

Well, Remus thought to himself, Prongs would willingly give Lily his kidney and pieces of your liver if she asked.

"Yeah. Of course!" Prongs said excitingly, his eagerness written across his face as his eyes shone brightly and smile that took over half his face (the boy didn't have the word _subtlety _in his vocabulary) as he lifted Buck onto the table. The owl merely twisted its head for more food.

"That owl is spoiled." Remus murmured to Prong as Lily reached down to her bag and started pulling out quills and parchments.

"Buck deserves it." Prongs said happily, as he petted the owl again on the head as Remus rolled his eyes.

"I'm surprised he hasn't gained weight." Remus said, eyeing the owl who seem to settle that he wasn't getting any more treats.

"Well, you know Moony." Prongs said in a much louder voice than before, "Buck here is pure-breed owl. Very fast metabolism and he's quite a flier too. He truly takes after his owner." Prongs said haughtily as he laughed as his own, and truly lame if one were to ask Remus, joke.

Fortunately, Lily was completely oblivious to the world as she wrote out her letter. Her quill flying across the paper as she angrily wrote out her message.

"Alright. Done!" Lily said proudly as she stared down at the letter.

"What does it say? You really need to make it menacing for this whole sabotaging one's room to work." Prongs said knowledgeable. As if he were an expert on such matters.

Lily, playing along with James, cleared her throat and promptly read the following:

**Dear Tuney,**

I know you lied to mum about having my clothes, especially the yellow dress. Mum sent me photos of the reunion. Please pack them up in a box for me. Let the owl know what you're doing or he'll just continue to wreak havoc in your room.

Love,  
Lily

"Good enough?" Lily asked the two boys, her face turning to each one.

"Couldn't have written it better myself." James told her confidently as he took the letter from her hand and started tying it to Buck's leg.

"Now Buck," James said gently, petting the owl on its head, "Make sure to deliver it to the address on there – in person. Try to make the room a mess and peck at her hair if anything. Do your best and stay safe." Prongs said with such vigor that one would have thought he was talking to troops marching to war versus his owl. "Don't stop until she agrees to relinquish the clothes!" James said loudly, his arm thrust into the air and the owl hooted along before taking off. Lily laughed hysterically in her seat, thinking that Prongs was merely being his silly self when in all honesty, the boy was acting very serious.

"Thank you so much James!" Lily exclaimed as she pushed herself away from the table and got up with her things. "I have to go to the library and grab a book but I owe you one! I'll let you know when Buck returns!" She said happily, waving over her shoulder as she walked towards the exit.

Prongs, oblivious to the goofy smile on his face, waved in her direction and _continued _waving even as she was out of the great hall before Remus jabbed him on the side.

"Ouch." Prongs murmured, rubbing the spot that Remus had poked him out.

"You needed it." Remus reasoned with him, "Don't you think that was _a tad _much when you were talking to Buck?"

Prongs shook his head with a look of shock and bewilderment. "Of course not! How else am I to talk to Buck? Honestly Moony." Prong said as if scolding a child as he reached for the pastry items.

Remus rolled his eyes, laughing a bit to himself, as he drank some more juice.

"I will say, I do not envy that sister. Buck is not easy once he gets an order from you." Remus said, hoping that Lily realized _exactly _what she ordered on her older sister.

* * *

Petunia was merely doing some school work at her desk which faced a window when she heard the insistent pecking at her window. Startled out of her seat, she quickly rolled her eyes when she saw a grey owl perched on her window still.

"Silly thing." Petunia murmured to herself as she open the window to let the owl into her room.

Usually, when an owl comes to the Evans' residence, it flies directly to the kitchen to drop off the letter from Lily. Then, it sometimes hovers around for some water and a treat. Something that Petunia found it annoying (after all, no postman demands water at every house he visits), she usually obliged simply because she found the owls cute.

Instead, this owl dropped the letter on her desk, which was very odd. Then, as she was opening the letter, the owl immediately started to squawk loudly and started to fly around the room. Petunia barely had time to get halfway down the letter as she heard the owl drag things off her bed.

"What are you-" Petunia screeched as the owl flew close to the dresser and used it's talons to scratch her dresser (and proceeded to knock everything off like the glass figurines). Petunia lunged at the owl, and it merely pecked at her hair for a bit before flying straight to the closet and dragging things off the hangers.

Petunia let out a frustrated scream as she started down at the letter in her hands. She quickly crumpled the letter in her fist as she grinded her teeth together.

"That. Little. _Freak._" She growled as the owl had now proceeded to scratching some more furniture in the room. She glanced down at the letter before letting out an exasperated sigh.

"Alright! Alright, I'll get the clothes! You can stop now!" The owl landed on the desk and eyed her as she got up to the closet, trying very hard not to hurl the heap of tops and pants at the owl.

She plucked the precious cardigan, the various tops, and the precious dress out of the closet. She turned to face the owl with the clothes in her hand.

The room was an absolute disaster. The sheets on her bed were off, there were rips where the talons had dug in. Feathers littered her floor from the once organized pillows on her bed. The bedframe itself was scratched on the posts. Then, Petunia's eyes landed on the top of her dresser, where there more scratches and the glass figurines that had neatly complimented the room were in a million different pieces on the ground.

And the damn owl just hooted from the desk chair. Petunia wondered if it would be illegal to strangle the thing, and that's when a thought crossed her mind.

"I'm just going to wash and dry these! We want to make sure that little Lily gets the best now." She said in an overly cheery voice as the owl hooted.

"If you want," Not sure why she was compelled to talk to the owl as such, "you can come with on my shoulder and go down to the kitchen for a treat?" At once, the owl hooted cheerfully and landed on her shoulder. The talons digging into her shoulder in a slightly painful way.

Petunia grimaced as she walked down the stairs and into the basement where the washers and dryers stood. She quickly dumped the clothes in and reached for the soap and a dash of bleach.

_Whoops! _She thought to herself nastily as pressed the start button to the machine. She laughed to herself as she walked upstairs with the owl, petting it as it nestled up with her.

After all, two can play at this game.

* * *

**A/N:** Enjoyed the fic? Leave a review! They make my day!


	3. Bears with Hearts

**Title:** The Guide to Pranking (by Lily and Petunia Evans)  
**By: **Nesma  
**Disclaimer: **Do not own any of the characters. Except for Buck. He's my dream pet.  
**A/N**: Hope you enjoy! :)

* * *

_February, 1967 _

"_Why _are we at great aunt Maggie's house?" Petunia whined to her mum, as the cranky old woman called great aunt Maggie tittered away from them. Lily giggled into her free hand as the other one was tightly grasped in Petunia's.

At once, Mrs. Evans face blanched and she crouched down to be at eye level with the small girls. "You need to show _respect _to your elders. She's a very dear aunt on my side of the family so _please _behave today. For mummy?" She said quietly yet sternly. Petunia merely rolled her eyes as she tore away from Lily to take off her coat. Lily started to do the same with her and they both passed off their large winter coats to their mummy.

"I'm going to hang these but go see your great aunt in the sitting room." Mrs. Evans said, straightening up and fiddling with the coats.

"Come on Lily." Petunia said, dragging her little sister along.

"Does she have toys?" Lily whispered.

"Doubt it." Petunia muttered back as they walked into the extremely formal sitting room. The furniture looked like it belonged to the 19th century, the wood looked aged and the fabric didn't seem to change. The bookshelves were lined with books from the bottom to the top. Leather bound books that had collected quite a bit of dust. The carpet was a large one that covered the entire wooden floor. The carpet was a washed in deep colors and detailed geometric shapes. Everything looked as old and as battered as Great Aunt Maggie, who was sitting in one of the grander arm chairs near the bookshelves.

"Come over here you two, I have something to show you." She said, her raspy scaring Lily (Petunia could tell because she huddled a little closer to her).

Squeezing her little sister's hand, Petunia took the lead to walking towards great aunt Maggie. The batty old lady smiled, demonstrating her yellowing and greying teeth.

"You two are so _pretty._"

"Thank you." Lily mumbled, still clinging tightly to Petunia.

"I wanted to show you these." Aunt Maggie said, gesturing to a shelf full of glass figurines. Some were animals, others were tiny humans (some faeries, dwarfs, and wizards), and the rest were odd scenery pieces.

"Toys!" Lily exclaimed, quickly letting go of Petunia's hand and reaching forward to the book case. Petunia didn't have time to pull her sister back, but aunt Maggie still had quick reflexes and slapped Lily's hand away quite hard.

"Ow!" Lily exclaimed, her eyes gathering tears as she pulled her hand back. Petunia took her hand and found the area where it was it; it had a red mark on there.

"Manners!" Aunt Maggie said stiffly, shaking her head as she stared wistfully at her figurines. "No, these aren't toys Lily. These are glass figurines. They are very beautiful and are not meant to be played with." Aunt Maggie said, beaming at the collection.

Beautiful was hardly the word that Petunia would use (and guessing by Lily's face, neither would she). Some were grotesque while others were just _too much. _There was a particularly ugly one in the front of a bear holding a heart. Petunia looked down to see Lily focusing heavily on the creature, her emerald eyes narrowed onto it.

"This one," Aunt Maggie said pointing the bear, "Is one of my favorites." She said, chuckling lightly.

Petunia started to feel something shift in the air. _Oh no, _she though despairingly to herself as she took hold of Lily's hand again. As a reminder or a prayer to those around not to do what she _thought _was going to happen.

Aunt Maggie started to turn her head away as their mother yelled something out, and just like that, the bear toppled forward. It shattered in a million pieces and Lily let out a gasp and quickly blurted out fearfully, "It wasn't me!" Petunia hung her head and shut her eyes as great aunt Maggie started yelling.

"It must have been! What else could have happened?" She said bitterly as Mrs. Evans rushed forwarded and started to pick up the pieces.

"Maybe it was the wind." Lily suggested and she started to sniffle as the tears leaked from her eyes. Aunt Maggie laughed rather cruelly towards the six year old. "I haven't open these windows for _years._"

"Doesn't it get stuffy here?" Lily asked, her mind quickly switching to a new topic.

"Girls! Why don't you go to the kitchen?" The mother asked, turning around with the pieces of the bear's heart in her hand. Though she posed it as a question, it was clearly meant as an order.

"Come on Lily." Petunia said quietly, tugging on her sister's hand to lead her to the kitchen. They weren't too far away when Lily voiced her thoughts on the matter.

"What's the big deal? It was _really _ugly." And Petunia had to giggle into her mouth and hoped that her mother nor Aunt Maggie heard the comments of Lily.

Once they were in the kitchen, Petunia had Lily sit down on one of the old wooden chairs (hoping that it wouldn't collapse underneath Lily). And though it was a bit difficult, Petunia had to stand on her tip toes to get glasses. As soon as she secured two, she was able to relax and turned to see Lily hanging her head quietly in her chair. She sniffled quite a bit though and wiped her nose with her flowered sleeve. Petunia felt herself relaxing as she filled the glasses with water.

"Thank you Tuney." Lily said quietly as she took the glass in her hand and started to drink from it. Noisley gulping down the water as Petunia took a seat next to her.

"You have to be careful Lily." She whispered quietly, staring down at her glass.

Petunia couldn't explain it. Nor could Lily. But every so often when strange things happen, Petunia was able to get a feeling or a sense that something _was _going to happen. It was something of how the air felt and how Lily was acting. It was bizarre but it has been something that the two sisters have kept between themselves.

"It was an accident! I promise! I was just _so _mad when she said I couldn't play with her stupid figurines!" Lily whispered back. Her face full of anguish and something in Petunia's heart soften.

"It was an accident. It's okay. Don't worry." Petunia said gently, pushing away from her chair to give Lily a small hug. Lily quickly nestled into Petunia's arms.

"Besides, that _was _a very ugly figurine." Petunia whispered to Lily, kissing the top of the small red head that giggled happily. They spent the rest of the afternoon playing games in the kitchen.

* * *

Petunia never _did _like glass figurines afterwards. Even when Vernon gave them to her on her birthdays. And after the date, she thanked him for the gift and the meal and went straight to Lily's room. Never mind that they hardly spoke but when she showed her what Vernon got her, a bear figurine holding a heart, the two burst into laughter and howled until tears were leaking down their faces.

* * *

**A/N: **Loved it? Hate it? Write a review!


	4. Howling at Petuina

**Title: **The Guide to Pranking (By Lily and Petunia Evans)  
**Disclaimer: **Don't own characters except for buck. And the artwork of the fab photo of my items.  
**AN: **Right. Here we go.

* * *

Peter Pettigrew was well aware of the whole morning incident that occurred only weeks before. Mostly, because Moony had told the story scene by scene of the whole debacle multiple times. From how Prongs ate only meat items (Padfoot immediately told Prongs that this is not how one gained muscles) to how Prongs gave Buck marching orders (even Peter felt that this was a bit much). Each Marauder teased Prongs quite a bit.

That was also due to the fact that Prongs proceeded to wake up early every morning and either did something absolutely idiotic with his hair (like when he tried to straighten his hair only to get endless frizz) to practicing lines in the mirror in case he ran into Evans at breakfast. This, of course, provided endless amount of entertainment for the group. Thankfully, Prongs decided that he liked sleep more than catching a glimpse of Lily after a week.

However, Prongs gave very clear and explicit instructions regarding the return of Buck. Prongs found this so important, that he called for a Marauders only meeting (as if there were any other meetings) in their Gryffindor dorm room. He sat them all down, pulled out a chalk board full of the scenarios. Padfoot threw his hands in the air at this point and questioned the sanity and necessity of a Maruders only meeting. Which, Prongs went to great lengths of _why _this meeting was a Marauders only meeting and why it was so important before he explained the figures on the board (Moony pointed out a few times to Peter that were obvious flaws in the plan but that he was too amused to observe them than to correct them). Anyways, the gist of the meeting, which was an hour too long, was the fact that if Buck were to return to any of them other than Prongs, then the package _must _be returned to Prongs to give to Lily. No questions asked.

That's why when Buck pestered at the Gryffindor window with a rather large package (Peter never knew that Lily was such a fashionista), he knew _exactly _what to do with the item. After he struggled for five minutes to properly open the window (he forgot if Padfoot put a weak sticking charm on the latch) he immediately ushered Buck into the room.

Buck merely dropped the package and latched onto Peter's shoulders as Peter looked frantically around the common room for Prongs. Unfortunately, in all of Prongs' plans of getting the package back to him, he failed to account for Lily's eagerness and sharp eyes.

So, of course, as Peter fiddled with the latch, Lily had looked up from her homework that was spread out in the corner of the common room floor. Potion notes spread out in a semi circle as she recopied lines of facts in an essay for Professor Slughorn that was due that week. Once Lily spied Buck at the window and a flustered Peter, she knew _immediately _what it meant.

"Peter, is that my package?" Lily asked, as she stood up from her cross-legged position and walked over to Peter.

Peter looked down at the package and was thankful that the address and the name were not on top (there were hidden beneath his hands which were holding the box on the side). "Uh, you know, I'm not too sure since Buck delivered it?" he feigned some confusion about Lily's questions about the package.

"Oh." Lily said, slightly taken aback as she brushed some strand of hair behind her ear. "The thing is though, I borrowed Buck from James for a delivery so I have a feeling that it's my package." Lily said, and reached forward to grab the package out of Peter's hands.

Peter took several step backs to avoid Lily's advances and practically shouted across the common room, "YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK I'LL GO TALK TO PRONGS ABOUT THIS." And quickly turned on his heels and scampered up the stairs leaving a very confused and bewildered Lily Evans.

"Prongs!" Peter hissed, as he pushed open the door to find the dormitory in its usual state: an utter disaster of a mess. Within the mess though, Padfoot was lazily doing homework on his bed, his wand tucked behind his ear as a potions book was open in his lap.

"Prongs isn't in the bathroom is he?" Peter asked nervously, he jumped over the piles of clothes as he reached Padfoot at his bed.

"Nah. But he should be coming back from quidditch practice soon." Padfoot said, as he flicked a page and wrote something in the margin.

"What am I to do with this?" Peter asked in a higher pitch as he slammed the package on Padfoot's bed. It was only then that Padfoot looked up and saw the full extent of the situation. A wide grin came upon his face as he shut his book closed with the battered black quill within.

"Is that-"

"It is! But where is Prongs! We'll have to give it to him! And Lily has already seen it-"

"What do you mean she's already seen it?" Padfoot asked roughly, pushing himself off of the bed and walking towards Peter.

Peter fretted with his hands as he looked from Padfoot to the package. "Well, Buck delivered the package to me and then she saw me handling and asked for it and I told her that I didn't think it was hers. So then she asked to look at it, and I just… ran up here to find Prongs?" Peter rambled nervously, all the while Padfoot's eyes grew large with excitement. At the end of Peter's tale, Padfoot burst into laughter.

"So you _left _her there?" Padfoot asked incredulously as he picked up the package and turned it around in his hands.

"Yes!" Peter squeaked out. Not sure if there was another way to handle the situation. As Padfoot eyed the package. Padfoot's gaze then looked up at the ceiling, as if he was contemplating an internal struggle rather than a simple situation. There was silence in the room for a good 20 seconds before Padfoot shook out of his revere.

"Merlin's beard, Prongs better understand how much he owes me as I am doing the right thing of contacting him instead of whisking Lily off her feet by presenting the package myself." Padfoot said gruffly, throwing the package on the bed as he fished within his pockets for a small mirror.

"Oy! Prongs!" He barked out into the mirror as Peter leaned against the bed post. "PRONGS." Padfoot yelled again as Peter ruffled his own hair. A few beats later and Prongs' face appeared in the mirror.

"What's going on?" Prongs asked, slightly out of breath.

"Is practice over?" Padfoot asked into the mirror.

"Just now, walking back to the castle. Why?"

"Buck came back. Wormtail's got the package. Meet us in the common room."

"I'll be there in five!" Yelled out Prongs, and the heavy footsteps of him running could be heard from the mirror. Padfoot just laughed as he put away the mirror.

"Shall-shall we go down and wait for him?" Peter asked, wringing his hands again. As Padfoot gave a small grin.

"Excellent idea Wormtail, let's go down." Padfoot said in a would-be-casual tone with his hand in his robe pockets.

"Okay." Peter said, grabbing the package only to have Padfoot throw his arm saying, "No, no. Leave it here. Prongs can go gallop up the stairs for the package. He needs the exercise." Padfoot said, winking at Peter who dissolved into hysterical laughter. Padfoot merely whistled out a poorly formed tune as he started to strut down the stairs.

Upon getting to the bottom of the stone stairs was Lily Evans waiting at the bottom, her arms crossed a look of confusion was on her face as the two boys nearly ran into her.

"Where's the package?" Lily asked bluntly, even going as far to go on her tip toes in her black flats to see if was floating behind him.

"Upstairs. Though I think it's from Prongs' mum. Or maybe his dad? Prongs is pretty close with his family." Padfoot said with a grin on his face. He leaned casually against the doorframe and effectively blocking Lily's way if she chose to storm up the stairs.

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Alright, well, is James coming soon to determine whose package it is?" Lily asked uncertainly, eyeing the portrait door.

And just on cue, Prongs came through the portrait hole. Well, really, he tumbled in, nearly falling flat on his face if it weren't for his ability to catch himself on the side wall. He straightened up, looking around with a slight look of fear on his face as if he was worried that a certain red head had caught view of his unsatisfactory entrance.

"PRONGS! OVER HERE!" Padfoot yelled gleefully, waving his arms around and Prongs' face nearly drained of all color. There were still two bright red patches on his cheeks from his sprint from the field to the common room. He jogged over (bless his heart, Peter thought, he's trying to save face). Though, it wasn't a fast jog since he was clutching his side with his left hand.

"Here." He heaved out, as he rested on his knees as Lily took a step closer to Padfoot as if to distance herself from Prongs.

"That's great! Only issue." Padfoot said in a cherry tone, "I seemed to have left the package upstairs. Mind being a doll and grabbing it?" Padfoot said innocently as he shrugged his shoulders. Prongs lifted his face to give Padfoot a look of anguish. "I mean, we all know what an athlete you are. Me? I enjoy my unhealthy diet of Moony's chocolate and eclairs."

"You know that the prat has been accusing _me _of stealing his chocolate –" Prongs said hurriedly, as he stood to his full height. He placed his hands on the back of his head as he took small steps to the door frame as Padfoot moved to the side.

"Oh dear. It's as if I was only eating chocolate on _your _bed and leaving the wrappers there. Can't believe he thought it was you mate." Padfoot rattled on, a look of exaggerated sympathy crossed his face as Prongs rolled his eyes and darted up the stairs.

"Couldn't you have just brought down the box the first time?" Lily asked in an annoyed tone.

"And miss the spectacle of Prongs-boy sprinting across the castle and then up the stairs? Not a chance." Padfoot said with a grin on his face as Lily merely shook her head, her finger tips massaging the left side of her forehead.

They stood in silence as the minutes ticked by. Lily used the time to examine her nails. Frowning on occasion as she realized that some nails were severely chipped of their nail polish. Padfoot used the time to practice his horrid whistling skills as Peter merely looked around him.

"Got it!" Prong yelled out happily as he skipped steps two at a time. He was still out of breath but he seemed to have regained some capacity of normalcy.

"Is it mine?" Lily asked eagerly and James nodded quickly as he handed it over.

"Yes." Lily whispered excitedly, "Thank you _so _much for lending me your owl!" Lily said as she moved forward to give Prongs a hug.

"Ah. Wait, Evans." Padfoot said quickly, throwing an arm between the two of them. Lily merely looked confused while Prongs looked like his deepest dreams were dashed and he looked like he wanted to throttle Padfoot within an inch of his life.

"I think you should open the package to make sure that the contents are to your liking. You know, make sure that your sister hasn't double crossed you or anything." Padfoot suggested, shrugging his shoulders.

"Okay!" Lily said brightly, and started to proceed to the side of an unpopulated area of the common room. Good thing her back was to the boys as Prongs vigorously shoved Padfoot who shoved him back and Peter had to hiss at them to _stay cool _as they followed Lily.

"Right." Lily said as she sat down with the package in her lap. The rest of the boys followed suit, Prongs being able to squeeze a spot next to Lily while Padfoot next to Prongs and Peter right between him and Lily. She stared to tear eagerly at the box and soon, there was a jagged opening on top. With a squeal of excitement (Prongs and Padfoot both exchanged looks at this) Lily plunged a hand in to grab a dress, a smile wide on her face. Though the smile fell rather quickly when the dress was on top of the box.

Well, Peter couldn't _tell _if it was a dress. It seemed several sizes too small for Lily's frames (perhaps that is the muggle fashion?) and it was oddly coloured throughout. Lily's lips were a thin line as she pulled out the rest of the clothes, all looking as if they had been shrunk and some odd colouring splattered throughout.

"That. Little. _Wrench._" Lily snarled as she pulled the yellow top or dress in the light.

"Uh, I take it that the dress doesn't usually look like that?" Prongs ventured rather bravely, pointing to the odd coloured spots.

"She _bleached _it and then she must have shrunk these things in the dryer." Lily said with a slight edge of disgust as she lowered the dress down to her lap, frowning darkly at the matter at hand.

"I can fix the colouring with a charm that's easy, I think?" Lily said as pulled her wand out of her robes. Placing the tip on one of the larger discoloured areas, she muttered some words and gestured to the correct color of yellow. The charm worked well enough. Though the area had been repaired, the edges betrayed the discoloration. Lily frowned and tilted her head to the side.

"This may take some work. And I think that'll it just repeat itself, well, either way I'm more worried about enlarging it to the correct size." Lily muttered, looking at Prongs with the dress limp in her hands. "What do you think?" Lily asked, turning to face Prongs whose own jaw looked a bit unhinged with Lily Evans asking for some advice.

"Well, yeah, I mean. I _think _a transfiguration spell would do the trick." James muttered, taking the dress from Lily's hands.

"Well, Prongs _is _the top of our year. Don't be so modest Prongs, show us your spellwork!" Padfoot cheered on, leaning back on his hands.

"Only if it's okay with you-"

"I trust you. You don't get an O on your transfiguration O.W.L for nothing now." Lily said, eyeing the dress as Prongs held it gently in his hands. Prongs was so focused at the task at hand that he seemed completely oblivious to the compliment that Lily paid him (thank Merlin he didn't, him bragging about his grades would exponentially increase). Prongs used his other hand to quickly ruffle his hair before pulling out his wand in his own robes. Peter noticed that there was a bit of shaking but knowing Prongs it was just a show.

Prongs took some deep breaths and tilted his own head before muttering some words and swishing his wand about.

Lily let out a mix between a gasp and cry as the dress grew a bit in size before it became completely shredded; as if the seams burst and the fabric couldn't be stretched much longer. Prongs dropped his wand in horror and even Padfoot's eyes went large. Peter couldn't help but squeaked as he covered his mouth.

"_My dress._" Lily cried in anguish, as she gingerly picked up the pieces of fabric from Prongs' lap.

"I am so so so sorry. Lily, I _swear, _I didn't mean to – it should have worked!" Prongs said in a panicked tone, his own hands going to his hair as Lily collected the pieces as she shook her head.

"No. I don't blame you. I think it has to do with some properties of fabric that the spell didn't work." Lily said bitterly, as she stared at the rest of her items. "It's not going to work on any of these then, will it?" Lily said gloomily, emptying the rest of box in her lap to find an envelope.

Lily roughly grabbed it and tore it open. Her eyes scanning the lines before she let out a growl.

"She's such a little – I mean, she didn't even _like _those figurines!" Lily spat out, passing the letter to Prongs without even a glance his way. This caused Padfoot's eyebrows to raise as he stared at Prongs who quickly read through the letter.

"Read it out loud Prongs." Padfoot said loudly, and Prongs threw Lily a questioning look as she nodded. Prongs cleared his throat and read the letter out loud:

**Dearest Lily:**

**Thank you for that** _**dreadful **_**owl. It scratched up most of the furniture. Which, by the way, have fun explaining to mum that you were so desperate for your dress that you charmed an **_**owl **_**to scratch our great aunt's furniture! And it tore holes in my **_**bedding**_** Lily! It also broke some very sentimental pieces that Vernon gave to me on my birthday – you owe me some money for that! But I'm sure when you come home for Christmas that we can make a trip to London to replace the pieces.**

**I thought it was only fair then to make sure that your clothes were washed and dried for their precious owner. Sorry if any damages occurred.**

**Love,**  
**Tuney.**

Padfoot let out a whistle. "Your sister sounds like a piece of work Evans." He said, as he laughed a bit as Lily still stared gloomily down at her clothes.

"She's not going to get away with that. That stupid little conceited – ugh if she was only here for me to yell at!" Lily exclaimed angrily, shoving the items of clothing (including the destroyed dress) back into the box.

"You can always use a howler." Peter said quietly, shrugging his shoulder as Lily gave him look of bewilderment. "You can always send for a mail order through the owlery, the post office will send you a howler for you to record your message in-"

"Or I can go down to the village rather than wait for them to fulfill the random orders of Hogwarts within a satisfactory 'week or two' timeline." Lily said sweetly, grinning broadly at Prongs who stupidly stared back at her. And then did some shifty eyes with Padfoot which meant, to everyone whose part of the Maruders' gang, _what on Merlin's pants is this bird talking about? _

Peter cleared his throat. "What are you talking about Lily?" In an innocent tone as Lily's eyes narrowed on Prongs. He gulped loudly.

"I _know _that you have means of getting out of the castle." Lily said in a pointed tone, she jabbed her index (the nail was painted this dark colour) into Prongs' chest who looked down at the offensive thing.

"I-I don't – well, I mean, I just. Uh?" James rambled, pushing his glasses up the nose and ruffling his hair. Lily raised her eyebrows, "What? James Potter is speechless? Denying his abilities to sway his girlfriends onto secret dates to Hogsmeade on unofficial visiting days?" Lily said in a pointed tone while Prongs' jaw dropped and a half groan escaped his mouth as massaged his temples.

As a general rule, the Maruaders tend to lie to any authority figure (prefects, professors, ministry officials, etc.). The usual exception to the rule was Moony, who tended to roll his eyes and give a small speech that usually pulled on Prongs' and Padfoot's guilt strings for about ten seconds before they continued destroying the castle.

"I mean, yes, I guess I know a passage way out-"

Padfoot scoffed, as if he was deeply offended by Prongs' answer. "_A passage way? _Try like five-" He started in a boastful manner.

"Padfoot!" Prongs interjected, as he turned his attention back to Lily. "Right, yes. I can take you. Now if you want but is this really the reasonable and logical answer-"

"I'll be back in five." Lily said, not even bothering to give Prongs the opportunity to sway her in the right direction. She left the circle so fast with her damaged clothes, that she missed how Padfoot gave Prongs a wink while Wormtail put out his hand for a high-five. Prongs seemed frozen on the spot, his jaw still slightly unhinged.

"What… just happened?" He croaked out, as Padfoot roared with laughter.

"Looks like you've got a date! Hurry up and try to look presentable, will ya?" Padfoot said, laughing and patting Prongs on the back as he jumped up and scuttled to the stairs. The two boys stared at the entrance for a while until Padfoot spoke up.

"If Prongs wouldn't hesitate to throttle you, I would suggest that you follow them as _wormtail_…" And Peter could only laugh along.

* * *

As James got ready for this 'date' or this 'outing' or this revenge situation, Moony came stumbling into the room – after hearing the whole debacle from Padfoot minutes earlier – Moony told him how he _must _persuade Evans from sending a howler. That he _had_ to try to shift Lily into a nicer, kinder route. Take the higher path.

This was all said as James scuttled through the floor for clean clothes (why did he own so many quidditch robes?) and trying to find a brush and deodorant (oh _merlin, _did he left it in the locker room?). Then, in the frenzy, Padfoot burst into the room and tried to negate everything Moony said about taking the higher path.

* * *

It was all very confusing and Prongs responded to the two arguing boys by running out of the door, out of the situation, with his bag stuffed with his invisibility robe and a handy map.

"Honestly. Don't you think this is overkill?"

James looked up to find Lily Evans frowning slightly, her arms crossed. He tried _very _hard not to get distracted by the freckles on her face as he reminded himself that some secrets were worth keeping for a little bit. That and his dignity.

"Well. Evans, can't just be _telling _you how to get out of the castle now, can I? It would be terribly irresponsible of me, as _Gryffindor quidditch captain, _I can be seen as a role model for students. I have to keep that, er, image up." Prongs rambled, as a hand went straight to his hair as the other tighten his grip on his wand. He wasn't sure _why _he brought up the whole captain title but it seemed like it would be appropriate. I mean, in case she forgot or something. Everyone needs reminders after all.

Lily took a heavy sigh as she rolled her green eyes to the ceiling. "Fine, fine, fine." Lily bitterly spat out as she plugged her ears with her hands and squeezed her eyes tightly.

"It must be very hard to be your own role model." Lily said sarcastically as James looked up and down the hallway.

"Oh, it really is. You know, it's actually a little weird because it's a little confusing on where to go next if your own role model, cause, uh, you're basically doing you the best you can?" James had started this sentence with the boisterous confidence that only Gryffindors could brag about but ended, well, quite lamely. He snuck look at Lily who was laughing a bit to herself as she stumbled away from him. James puffed out his chest a bit (forgetting that the girl had literally squeezed her eyes shut) and faced his attention on the statue. With a tap of his wand and a quickly whispered word, the entrance was open.

"Come on Evans." James whispered harshly, looking down the hallway to see if there were any souls approaching. Instead, there was Lily whose eyes were still squeezed shut (so tightly in fact that her cheeks were bunched and there were criss-cross lines come from her face) and her hands firmly stuffed into her ears.

Well, James hadn't _really _expected her to take him seriously. James rolled his own eyes and grabbed Lily by the arm into the entrance. Once they had slip and slid into the tunnel, they started the long walk to Hogsemeade.

"_Lumos_." James whispered to his wand and a light emitted. It took a few seconds for the two of them to get adjusted to the light. Lily blinked several times and clutched onto her own small purse and wand. She did a few buttons on her robes, most likely to protect herself from the draft. James merely adjusted his glasses and peered around him.

"Shall we go?" James asked, as he started to walk with Lily following suit.

"So this is how you get all the goods for the parties." Lily remarked coolly, as her voice bounced off the walls.

"Er, I mean, yes. Sometimes. Uh, Wormtail can be quite the planner so sometimes we stock up during the official visits. But in case we run out it's nice to have this." James said, shifting his bag on his arm as Lily turned her head a bit; enough for James to see her eyebrows shooting up.

"Peter? A planner?" She asked incredulously and James started to laugh a bit, "Yeah. I mean, Moony helps with the numbers and such but, uh, yeah. Throwing parties is always on his mind so it's helpful to have him around." James said hesitantly.

There was a moment of silence which made James very nervous. He really, really couldn't stand silence. He preferred duels and fights rather than silence. It was a fear that James was certain that Padfoot had. Sometimes, he felt like the two of them said the stupidest (well, to be honest, most brilliant) things out loud merely to hear themselves talk.

"So-Moony thinks I should talk you out of this whole howler scenario." James said in a rush, taking a quick intake of breath as Lily laughed.

"I'm not surprised." She said, a small smile playing on her lips, "But, revenge is revenge."

"Isn't there a saying that it's a dish best served cold?"

"Oh, of course. But, in this case, I want to throw the piping how dish in her _face. _Which is what I will do in this howler." Lily said gleefully.

"Do you know what you want to say?"

Lily laughed again, "Oh! Of course! Something along the lines of how she's a terrible person and the fact that she owes me money. Not just for the clothes but for breaking her stupid bear figurine." Lily ranted and James was unsure what to say to that.

"Bear figurine?" James asked, wondering if this was a muggle tradition that he was unaware about.

"Her boyfriend, Vernon, gave her this bear figurine that looks an awful lot like the one my great aunt has." Lily muttered, stuffing her hands in her pocket. "Anyways, once, when we were kids, I accidentally broke this ugly bear figurine cause my great aunt wouldn't let me play with it."

James stifled a laughter as he peeked at Lily who had a small smile on her face. "You… you broke a glass figurine because you couldn't _play _with it?" James asked incredulously, as he laughed hysterically at a young Lily breaking glass figurines.

"Well, it _was _ugly. Tuney helped me out, um, she was aware that I was 'special' at a young age and always tried to minimized the damage. But, anyways, to make matters worse is that we inherited the stupid figurine collection after my great aunt died."

"Uh, I'm so sorry for your loss... and your gain?" James ventured hesitantly as Lily laughed at his indecisiveness.

"It was… atrocious. Tuney and I spent the entire afternoon ranking them from least to most ugly." Lily said, laughing a bit. "Of course, my mum wasn't happy on how we spent the afternoon with the figurines so she made us sell them." Lily said, and at this piece of information she frowned a bit. "I think we kept some… and those might have broke during Buck's invasion… funny." Lily said quietly as James observed her. "If she's upset about _those _one breaking… well, I just haven't seen them in her room, I didn't think she cared?" Lily questioned herself.

James was at a loss of how to respond to this. "Well, I mean, she just told you the ones from Vernon are broken – she seems direct enough that she would have told you if the ones of your great aunt broke, right?" James asked and Lily nodded her head.

"That's true." She muttered, but still looking uncertain before something in her face harden, "And she still stole my clothes _and _ruined them." As if she need the reminder to complete a mission ahead.

"True." He said, as he bobbed his head a bit as Lily nodded. The rest of the walk was in tortured silence.

* * *

Petunia was in a rush. She had just managed to get on her favorite dress and do most of her make up when she realized that she had to grab something from the kitchen to mail. She dashed from floor to floor thinking of every errand she needed to run before dinner time. Before Vernon comes over with Yvonne. Yet, before she could even catch her breath the doorbell rang and Vernon and Yvonne were there, all nice and tall.

"Come in." She said quickly, she gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek and Yvonne a quick hug as they stepped inside. "I'll just be a minute!" She yelled, as she starting running up the stairs two at a time. She dashed into her room merely to get her jacket and purse.

It was then that an owl almost ran head first into her window. Well, technically it did but it was fluttering like _mad _outside of her window. Looking down at her watch, she quickly opened the window, expecting the owl to go downstairs (she forgot about Vernon and Yvonne) and to go on its merry way.

However, it dropped a red envelope on her desk and scattered away. As if it was petrified by the mere site of Petunia. She frowned at the envelope, and seeing that it was for her she opened it thinking that it was a letter.

"YOU LITTLE WRENCH! YOU ABSOLUTE _FOOL._" Lily's voice rang out lout and shrilly in Petunia's room. Petunia let out a small shriek as she backed into her drawers.

"YOU THINK IT'S _FUNNY _TO RUIN MY CLOTHES? NOT ONLY STEAL THEM BUT RUIN THEM! WHAT KIND OF PERSON DOES THAT TUNEY?" Petunia shut her eyes, and hoped that the yelling would stop and that Vernon nor Yvonne could hear a word.

"YOU THINK THAT THIS IS CLEVER? YOU THINK I WON'T CALL YOU OUT ON YOUR LITTLE JEALOUS RAMPAGE JUST BECAUSE I'M MILES AWAY? AND YOU AND I BOTH KNOW HOW MUCH YOU _HATED _THAT FIGURINE. I DESERVE AN AWARD FOR DESTROYING THAT STUPID GIFT VERNON GAVE YOU. I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU'RE DATING SUCH A TROLL. YOU SHOULD BE PAYING ME BACK FOR THE RUIN CLOTHES AND FOR DESTROYING THAT STUPID BEAR FIGURINE. HAVE A GREAT BLOODY DAY TUNEY!"

The red envelope had shriveled up and started to burn on her desk. Petunia screamed and started beating the flames. They disappeared, but left some nasty burn marks on her table. Petunia tried to catch her breath and turned around to find Vernon and Yvonne in the doorway, looking speechless.

_Oh no. _Petunia thought nervously. For Vernon was easily fooled but Yvonne tended to make promises and break them for the highest bidder.

"Was that your-" Vernon started.

"On the phone." Petunia said quickly, eyeing the room and hoping they didn't look closely. "She's an absolute-just a complete _freak." _Petunia said savagely as brushed some tears out of her eyes.

"She-she broke your figurine?" Vernon said, as he looked around the room sadly as he tried to find it. Yvonne's head went in every direction, in hopes of finding the flaw in Tueny's lies.

"It was an accident." Petunia said, hating the lies were coming out of her at such a rapid rate.

"She called me a troll." Vernon said darkly, his anger appeared quickly. His face turned red and the vein on his faced looked like it was about to pop.

"She-she doesn't know you." Petunia said weakly as Vernon begun to pace around the room.

"Your sister… she doesn't seem sane." Vernon said, bitterly. And before Petunia could open her mouth, Yvonne stepped in with her own wild theory.

Petunia _hated _it when Yvonne talked about Lily. Just as Petunia and Severus couldn't and wouldn't get along, Lily and Yvonne were the same. Anything that Yvonne could do to discredit and alienate Lily from Surrey was a victory.

Which was way it was _very _difficult sometimes for Petunia to lie about Lily. After all, lying about disappearances and odd accidents happened on a daily basis with Lily. And that's when Petunia saw an opportunity. One that she'll later regret but nevertheless took.

If she was going to lie about her sister, she was _through _of saying nice things about her. Covering up her disappearance with a prestigious school in neverland. Cover up her sister's burst with angers. Sacrificing her dignity in the process. No. This was the last straw.

And with that, Petunia hid her face in her hands as she sobbed out the truth to Vernon and Yvonne.

Well. The fake truth.

* * *

**AN: Loved it? Hated it? Leave a review! They make my day! :) **


	5. Yvonne Sinclair

**Title: **The Guide to Pranking (By Lily and Petunia Evans)  
**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of these characters/world. Except for Buck.  
**A/N: **Hi! This story will probably continue for the next two week or so! Check back next Tuesday for the update! :) Enjoy!

* * *

_June 1973_

Yvonne Sinclair was hardly a kind soul. Though Petunia realized that as a mother, as a teenager, she was wildly blind to Yvonne's cruelty. In typical fashion, Yvonne was _very _popular as a teenager. The girls wanted to mimic her hair styles and be her friend. The boys wanted to go on dates with her. To be in the same social circle with her was an honour, a privilege, and a constant battle to stay in.

Yvonne took particular attention to Petunia the year Lily left for school. It was a dramatic fashion in Surrey. Very few leave for other schools than those in the area. For Lily to have left for private institution out of the area while the older sister stayed behind? Well, it raised many questions for those in town. Yvonne, though at first tried to see if there was more to the Lily story, eventually included Petunia in her inner ring.

Countless afternoons spent at stores coordinating outfits, gossiping about those in the year, and even going as far as pulling harmful pranks on those lesser then them. Petunia served herself as a gossiper, she was hardly involved with the pranks because she was simply awful at it. She oscillated between being a leader with the prank, only to turn into an advocate for the person the group was about to prank. Therefore, she was often left out from the whole operation.

Though Petunia wrote letters to Lily in those early years at Hogwarts, she _always _neglected to correspond to Lily about the full extent of Yvonne. It was easier to portray herself, as well as Yvonne, as the cool group; known for their beauty and wits rather than their gossips and cruelty. Just as Petunia was caught in the crossfire between Lily and Severus, she never wanted Lily to be placed in the crossfire between herself and Yvonne.

However, despite her wishes, Petunia found out that there was very little to be done if Lily Evans ever wanted to be part of social group. After discussing with her mother about the detailed plans with Yvonne and her clan, was she shocked to find Lily smiling gleefully in the middle of Petunia's own room while Yvonne and the others sat in a circle around the young witch.

"Lily? What are you doing?" Petunia asked, almost angrily as she shut her door quietly.

"Oh, Tuney, stopped being so harsh on your little sister! She merely wants to hang out with you – that's all!" Yvonne said brightly, as she batted her eyelashes.

Petunia stood there nervously as Yvonne edged closer to Lily and started to brush her long red hair.

"We were just telling Lily about the fact that Jacob seemed rather interested that she was back for the summer." Yvonne said sweetly, as the other girls giggled including Lily. Lily laughed with Yvonne because she thought the girl was being sincere; the other girls laughed out of fear.

"We thought we'd offer your little sister a surprise make over before she came out with us. After all, we are seeing Jacob." Yvonne said, her voice laced with her fake kindness; the one she used on unsuspecting victims.

Petunia felt a protective surge wash over her for her little sister, who giggled into her hands again as the girl continued brushing her hair.

"Yvonne, I'd have to ask my mum. I'm not sure if she'd be okay for us to take Lily along-"

"Tuney!" Lily yelled out shrilly, her eyes narrowed down on her before she turned a bit towards Yvonne. "My mum will be fine with it. I'm almost a _teenager_ anyways. Tuney was allowed to go out loads of times before she was one so, why can't I?" Lily said proudly, she drew herself up straight and beaming. Yvonne laughed at Lily before continuing to brush her hair. "My, my. What a feisty little sister you have!" Yvonne said wickedly, as started to separate the red strands.

"Yvonne – what are you _trying _to do with her hair?" Petunia asked, as she tried to make sure that her anger didn't seep through. Yvonne rolled her eyes and stood up, she glanced down at one of the other girls who immediately started back at Yvonne's watch. Yvonne tip toed around the other girls and followed Petunia out in the hallway.

"What are you doing?!" Hissed Petunia, as she crossed her arms as she tried her best not to get intimidated by the girl in front of her who rolled her hazel eyes at Petunia's anger.

"_Relax. _We're just pulling a trick on her. You always go on about how annoying she is." Yvonne said testily, as she crossed her arms and stuck out her left hip. She rolled her eyes at Petunia, as if pulling tricks on younger siblings to scare them away was a normal activity.

Petunia felt her stomach dropped. She should have _never _complained about Lily to Yvonne. She could feel the guilt twisting around inside of her as the conversations with Yvonne flashed through her mind. The time she complained about Lily showing off, how her hair was everywhere, how she was always following Petunia around…

"After this. I doubt she'll cling to you as much. Just, follow my lead." Yvonne said confidently, as she turned around to head back to the bedroom.

Petunia had no idea what came over her. But she roughly grabbed Yvonne's arm and the girl yelped out like a wounded dog. Icy fear washed over Petunia as she quickly let go of Yvonne's arm, who stared at her as if she were a three headed dog of something.

"Did you just-"

"I'm so sorry Yvonne. I just… I don't think we should trick Lily!"

Yvonne's eyes turned into slits as she advanced onto Petunia. "You're going to do _exactly _as I say. Unless you want to spend the summer with the _freaks _in our year? Would you like that? And _no _boy will want to hang out with you." Yvonne spat and started stomping back to Petunia's bedroom, her dark hair swinging viciously in her ponytail.

Petunia leaned against the wall as she tried to collect her breath before returning to the bedroom.

When she walked in, she almost stumbled based on what they did to Lily.

Lily's hair was in a series of buns on her head, almost like a mouse, but one where the science experiment went wrong. She had a very pink blush splattered on her cheeks. The foundation was too pale and the eye shadow was this tacky, sparkling blue. Then, there was the too dark of a lipstick and Lily had a huge grin ear to ear.

"My, Lily… you look-"

"Great? Like you?" She eagerly said as she bounced up to saunter over to Petunia. Petunia felt the words die in her throat as the girls in the room giggled.

"You look _fantastic _Lily." Yvonne said in a very cherry tone, as she started to get up and grabbed her purse. "You ready to knock the socks off of Jacob?" She said, enthusiastically, placing an arm around Lily as if she were the older one.

"Yeah!" Lily exclaimed, "I'll get my purse!" She cried, running out of the room as the girls laughed hysterically. Petunia just grew sicker by the minute as she grabbed her own items. She was determined not to say a word to Lily about her looks since the girl _clearly _didn't look into a mirror. She just blindly trusted Yvonne.

As the group walked to the stores, nearly every member took a turn to compliment Lily on her appearance. By the time the group had finally reached their destination, Lily just glowed from all the confident boosters that the group had readily supplied.

Petunia's arms were crossed as she scanned the area for Jacob. _Please, don't let him be here, _she thought desperately to herself. Yet, of course, fate had other plans for her that day.

"Look Lily! There he is!" Yvonne said happily, as she placed a hand on Lily's shoulder. "Why don't you go show off your new look?" Lily nodded her head and started walking over to him. While the group eagerly watched, Petunia turned around so that she didn't have to watch her little sister make a fool of herself.

_Coward, _she thought bitterly as she started to rub her neck.

"Petunia! What are you doing over there!? Come back!" Yvonne yelled, and Petunia had no choice but to obey the queen bee.

"You know, after this, I should probably take her home. Mum will find out, Lily is such a blabber mouth. Have to redeem myself somehow." Petunia muttered bitterly to Yvonne who was hardly paying attention to Petunia as she gleefully watched Jacob, and his own gang, openly laugh at Lily.

"Well then, better take your sister home then. I'll call you tonight." Yvonne said, as Lily started to sprint from the boys, back home. Petunia shot Yvonne a nasty look before she sprinted after her sister.

* * *

"GO AWAY." Lily cried shrilly, as Petunia tried desperately to unlock the bathroom door.

Petunia let out a sigh as she leaned against the door. Her hear pressed up to the side, and the door was thin enough that she could hear the water running and angry splashing coming from within. "Come on Lily, let me help you get the make up off at least." Petunia said quietly. She paused for a second, "Lily, I'm sorry. That really was an awful thing for Yvonne to do." Petunia heard the small stomps and quickly pulled back from the door.

Lily swung the door open and glowered at Petunia. Lily's hair was a mess, and half of the make up was smeared across her face. Despite the foolish look, Lily's anger was evident and hardly a laughing matter.

"If she's so mean, why do you hang out with her?" She asked stubbornly, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Well why do you hang out with Sev?" Petunia snapped back, putting both of her hands on the door frame so that she could tower over Lily and block the exit.

"He's not _mean _like that-"

"Oh, so I suppose the wand incidents and the tree branch nearly knocking me out were just his way of greeting new friends?" Petunia snapped back as Lily stepped back a bit.

"I _swear _he's a nice guy-"

"No he's not!" Petunia exclaimed as she stepped away from the doorway and turned her back on Lily for a bit before facing Lily again.

"You _hear _the way he talks, right?" Petunia asked nastily, "You've _heard _what he has said about muggle-borns!"

"He doesn't talk to me like that though!" Lily whined as she desperately looked around the bathroom.

Petunia gave a harsh laughter. "Lily! How daft can you be? It's only a matter of time before he turns on you and seriously _hurts _you!"

"No he won't!" Lily said angrily, stomping her foot. Petunia merely raised her eyebrows at her.

"Oh really? You wrote to me this past spring about this Malfoy character… about how he's been teaching Sev some _dark magic._ Things that would send him to Azkaban." Petunia said darkly, and at this point, Lily started to squirm a bit in her spot.

"He's only curious." Lily said quietly, putting her hands in front of her.

"But he follows this Malfoy boy like he's the king, right? And didn't you tell me that Malfoy got in trouble this year because he was practicing illegal curses on some girls in your house?" Petunia said in a nasty tone. Lily even retreated a bit further into the bathroom.

"He would never use magic against me-"

"Only his friends, right? How long do you think it will take until his friends start to go after you? And Sev just stands aside because he doesn't have the guts to protect you-"

"Like what _your _friends did today?" Lily snapped back.

"Yes, my friends are _awful._ They do these mean tricks to everyone! But that's the thing Lily, it's just mean tricks. " Petunia took a deep breath before she rambled on, "I would go as far as to say that this type of prank is harmless. What Sev is doing? _Blood _has literally been spilled because of his ideology. I mean, how long do you think it'll be before he turns on you? Or when his friends go after you just to hurt him? Are you _really _that naïve to think he's a friend-"

But Petunia didn't get to finish her sentence as Lily slammed the door on her and refused to answer any of Petunia's pleas to get inside.

It took two weeks before Lily even _started _to be civil to Petunia again.

* * *

Unfortunately, it took around two weeks for the newest rumour to come around to Lily.

In a typical fashion, Jane, Lily's best friend, visited her one particularly hot summer's evening. While Lily had spent the day with her mom shopping, Jane had attended a pool party for a girl, Lisa or something, that Lily had never met and never spoke to. Though Lily could barely give a life story on Lisa; Lisa had a _lot _to say about Lily Evans.

According to her and her own sources (her older sister who happened to be friends with Yvonne), Lily Evans was madly in love with Jacob. In fact, she was _obsessed_, border line stalker (if not completely full blown) and just blinded by her love for the boy. She was so crazed, that she had asked (nay, begged) Yvonne to do whatever it took to get Jacob to notice her. It was Lily's choice for the hair and make-up colours. In essence, Lily Evans was the laughing stock of her year.

Of course, it was only those who were popular who truly cared about the matter. Girls like Jane merely rolled their eyes and spoke up about the holes in the gossip mill. Jane reassured her that no one that mattered truly believed the rumour.

Yet, Lily still cried about the fact that people talked about her behind her back. The fact that it felt like only Jane believed her. Lily and Jane watched silly films together that evening, and after she left Lily went straight to Petunia's room.

"Why did you let her do that?" Lily asked angrily as Petunia raised her head from the book she was reading.

"Pardon?" She asked skeptically as she folded a page within the book and shut it closed. She started to get into a sitting position as Lily continued to interrogate her.

"_Why _did you let Yvonne trick me? And then spread awful rumours about me?" Lily wailed, as she crossed her arms and tried very hard not to cry.

Petunia let out a sigh as she focused her attention across the room and away from Lily. "Because if I didn't she'd spread rumours about me. And besides, it wasn't meant to get out of hand-"

"WELL IT DID!" Lily yelled, stomping her feet in the process.

"Lily, a rumour about you is hardly the end of the world-"

"Yes it is!"

"Next week, they'll be focused on something else and then you'll be fine. Besides, you're leaving in a few months and people will forget about you anyways. It is a small town, people find new things to gawk at-"

"Easy for you to say." Lily mumbled as she stared at the floor, making her feet make patterns on the floor.

"I know." Petunia said, shrugging, "But I promise, it'll get better." Petunia stood up to give Lily a hug, but Lily just sprinted from the room and refused to open her bedroom door.

However, older sisters have a tendency to be more right than wrong. The fo llowing week, Lily's entire year were ridiculing Lisa. According to the rumour mill, she had begged Yvonne to help her with her hair since she was _obsessed _with Yvonne. Yvonne, being a kind soul agreed. Yet, once Yvonne was done with Lisa's hair, Lisa hated the look so much that she actually took a pair of scissors and chopped off half of her hair.

Or, something to that affect.

* * *

**A/N: Loved it? Hated it? Review it! Come back next Tuesday! :) **


	6. Operation Oscar, Part 1

**Title: **The Guide to Pranking (By Lily and Petunia Evans)  
**By:** Nesma  
**Disclaimer:** These characters and world are not mine. Except Buck.  
**A/N: **This chapter was split into two, made things easier. Hope you enjoy and stay tuned for the next update on Friday! (Though this may change to Thursday... we'll see :)).

* * *

Petunia _knew _that the second she opened her mouth that she was doing something terrible. Though in those few brief few seconds she felt some sort of justice and vengeance towards Lily. Though revenge is dish best served cold, it was liberating to serve if piping hot. However, as the minutes ticked by and both Yvonne and Vernon begun talking about Lily as if she were a deranged person Petunia started to feel her guilt ebb throughout her heart. Especially when the tone of the conversation made it such that Lily was no longer a human being but an object that was subjected to be judged at every angle.

When they left, Petunia prayed that her lapse in judgment would only end with those two. Which only demonstrated how little she knew of Yvonne. Late that evening, Yvonne called her, telling her how she _never _knew about Lily. How _brave _Petunia was to put up with such a younger sibling. At one point, Yvonne started crying on the phone hysterically telling her that she would support Petunia no matter what. Petunia, was in such shock and completely flustered and panicked and _begged _Yvonne not to tell a soul. To keep the secret between her and Petunia and Vernon. After several minutes of promises, Yvonne hung up the phone and Petunia was left feeling a bit better than before. But it didn't last.

The gossip about Lily Evans, the younger daughter of the Evans family spread very quickly in the town. It only took a few days until Mr. and Mrs. Evans started to notice something amiss.

For starters, the Evans started to receive random assortment of gifts. From dinners to flowers to tickets to plays. Yet, whenever Mr. and Mrs. Evans questioned their suddenly generous neighbor about _why _such a gift; many of the neighbors assumed that the Evans were trying to keep some semblance of pride (Petunia just _died _in the background whenever this happened).

And Petunia started to rustle more in her sleep. The guilt wreaking havoc and her daily routines. More than once she had tried writing a letter to Lily, only to stop in mid-sentence since the shame was unbearable. There was still the faint hope that this would all blow away. That the gifts will stop and the whispers would cease and the Evans could continue to be a normal family.

It was only on one night, or early morning, that Petunia was roused from dream and shot out of her bed to her desk. In this erratic state, Petunia wrote this ramble of an apology. Trying to explain her actions (could she ever really thought?) and tried to apologize. She wasn't sure if she got her point across. During the waking hours, Petunia addressed it properly and waited upon it. Seeing if she truly needed to send it or not.

It was only after a very angry phone call from one of Lily's ex-boyfriend's mother did the Evans discovered what _exactly _Petunia told Vernon and Yvonne.

And they were not pleased. It was perhaps after this incident, that Petunia started to hate the attention being focused on her.

* * *

James was starting to arrive to breakfast rather early these days. Ever since the whole early morning incident the first time, James had made it goal to come to breakfast early.

Well, after quidditch practice. He _did _love to sleep. But at least now, he took a quick shower before arriving to the great hall. After all, the idea that Lily would see him splattered in mud from head to toe was unappealing (and once, Moony did point out that he had a _distinct _smell that was unsuitable for the early hours of the morning).

After a nice and easy practice, the team was tapering from their harder workouts, James found himself walking into the great hall with as much energy and enthusiasm that Lily usually held for the early mornings.

"Morning." He said cheerily, taking a seat next to Moony and across from Lily. Moony merely nodded in his direction as he took a sip of his tea. Though Moony was used to the early hours, he was _extremely _silent. It was all unnerving to James in all honesty.

And then there was Lily. Though she was usually composed, she was her fidgety self as she kept staring up at the ceiling.

"Should arrive in a few minutes, right?" James asked, piling the meat products on his plate and sneaking a slice of toast with his meal. Lily, hardly noticing his absurd plate nodded.

"Should be hearing by from Petunia about the howler. It has been a week or so since I've heard from her." Lily muttered, drawing her eyes again on her plate of toast and eggs. And that's when James realized that her fidgets were unusual – even for Lily Evans.

For starters, she was biting at her nails. They were all bitten down to the nail, and there was a slight frown on her face as she kept looking up at the ceiling. And there were bags under her eyes as she kept looking up. It was guilt.

James shrugged. "It was just a howler. Maybe she felt like ignoring it?" James asked tentatively as Lily's gaze fell onto him.

"Maybe." She said, she stared up again as the first few owls started to swoop down. And James looked up and was taken aback by the amount of owls that seemed to be charging towards their spots at the Gryffindor table.

The first owl was for Moony, the _Daily Prophet_, a normal tawny owl. And that one merely swooped and dropped the newspaper on Moony's head. Moony immediately shot the bird a dirty look before leaning back on his seat to pick up his newspaper copy.

But then, there was a black owl that dropped one letter next to Lliy. And then a brown one. A tawny. A snow white one. And then the owls were clamoring over one another to deliver their letter first to Lily. Feathers were floating around and the squawks of the birds made it impossible to hear among the three of them.

James immediately leaned forward and started untying one letter after another. Moony started to help (though, not after a bitter comment about his coffee being ruined). It took a few minutes but when the last owl left, there were several letters scattered around Lily as she stared in bewilderment.

"Uh, you're not secretly famous in the Muggle world, are you?" Moony asked, smiling a bit as he stared at the letters in his own hands.

"No… this is really bizarre, I haven't heard from some of these people since I was really young." Lily murmured, flicking through the stack on her end. "Is there any from Petunia in your stacks? Or from my parents?" Lily asked quietly.

Moony started to shuffle through his, but James found that his first letter was from Mr. and Mrs. Evans.

"Have it!" James cried out excitedly and passed it over to Lily who muttered a thanks before opening the letter hurriedly.

It was clear that as soon as she started to read the letter that something was wrong. Lily's hand quickly went to her mouth and a slight gasp escaped. Towards the end, she started to gather tears in her eyes as she started to breathe shallow breaths.

James and Moony looked at each other uncertainly. "Lily?" Moony asked, reaching his hand out before pulling it back in. As if he thought better of his actions.

There was a moment of silence in which Lily placed the letter face down. She leaned forward and shielded her eyes. She continued to take shallow breathes and every few seconds James would hear her sniffle. Now, James was as clueless as to what to do when Lily was in his presence; and this just made matters even more complicated.

"That little bitch." Lily muttered underneath her hand, she pulled her hand away and wiped the tears off of her face. "She's really… well, she's outdone herself this time." Lily said bitterly, opening the next letter and reading through it quickly.

"What… what did she do this time?" James asked quickly. He wasn't sure if he was being stupid or brave or even a mixture of both. According to Moony, judging on the kick under the table, Moony found him to be the former. Though, for once, Lily seemed to ignore James' lack of sensitivity.

"Well. She told the world's biggest gossiper as well as her boyfriend that I'm in the loony bin. That I'm in a place for people who've lost their minds and need 24/7 supervision and therapy and _God _knows what else. Or in a correctional facility, apparently, Petunia can't tell the difference between the two." Lily murmured, putting aside the letter she opened.

"And… those?" James asked, unable to stop the flood of questions that were tumbling through his brain. He truly wished for times like these that he could just let Moony perform an imperius curse on him so that he wouldn't be responsible for his faults.

Lily half laughed and half cried. "These? Oh, these are letters from neighbors and an ex-boyfriend-"

"Ex-Boyfriend?" Jameas spluttered. And it was then that he realized that he had crossed a line as Lily let her hand fall on the table with a thud.

"Yes, Potter, my ex-boyfriend." She spat out as she pulled the letter out in front of her, "He now blames _me _for everything in the relationship. He told me that if I had been 'honest' with my condition that we wouldn't have been such an atrocious relationship" Lily said fuming, her head shaking from side to side. "Blames everything on my mental conditions – and that he could only imagine that was I was placed in because of my anger issues. Claims that I should have warned him before he went out with a 'loony' like me. Says his entire reputation is a laughing stock because I'm the black mark or something." Lily threw the letter to the side, for the second time, her lips turning into a simple line. "Funny. Thought we broke up because of his shitty attitude."

With that, Lily grabbed her stack of letters, as well as Moony's before stalking out of the Great Hall. Moony gave James a dirty look, "Did you_ really _need to ask her about her exes right now?" And James hung his head. "It was impulsive. I… I still have a letter." James said quietly, pulling out the one on his lap. His eyes grew wide as he read the return address.

"I have to go. She'll – well, maybe, want to read this." James said quickly, chugging some pumpkin juice before dashing out of his seat.

* * *

Lily went straight to her dormitory after reading her ex's letter. She read through every letter from old neighbors to distant relatives. Many told her that they were 'shocked' by her condition and wished her to get better. Some even went as far as asking if they could send her items, or if there was a ban to what the 'inmates' were permitted to have? Though she was missing letters from the people that she cared the most. She was missing a letter from Emily. From Sarah. And she even thought that Jane would write to her. Surely… they must know that these were just _vicious _lies from Petunia. Surely they don't _truly _believe that Lily was in a mental institution or a correctional facility?

She was also missing a letter from Petunia.

Though, she supposed that her dear older sister would have thought it was an apology enough that their parents sent a 'warning' letter to Lily. Explaining the situation and how they were trying hard to dispel the rumours and claiming that their sources heard incorrectly about Lily's situation. However, their efforts were weak against those who went out of their way to write to Lily about their theories of her madness and weaknesses.

Lily fell against the pillows of her bed and curled up into a fetal position. The letters were circled around her. She tried hard to keep her tears silent as tried to process the morning. After all, it wasn't easy to get letters from half the town claiming that she's mad and to some extent, unwelcome to come back. And if she did, to better expect no privacy what so ever.

And that, that hurt more than anything. She was marked in the wizarding world. Where sniggers from Slytherins were expected. Where detention rates were climbing with students experimenting with dark magic. Muggleborns were told to stay in packs and not go wondering on their own at night. The risks of coming back to the wizarding world were growing with every year.

And then there was the muggle world. The town of Surrey found Lily to be mad out of her mind. And they had no problem writing letters to her. Harrassing her parents and Petunia. Though, Lily thought bitterly, Petunia did deserve a little taste of this misery. Lily already felt like an outsider every summer. She had a hard time understanding pop culture references. Movies and tv shows that she missed. Books that she had neglected to read and scandals that didn't reach her ears. Each year, she had a harder time pretending to be a muggle. Even though, it was certainly the safer route. Yet now, she was officially shunned from all she knew thanks to a few well-chosen words from Petunia.

And that was hard to process. Thank god for having the first period off this morning.

* * *

James Potter wasn't accustomed to waiting patiently for people. Every time a witch came wondering down the stairs that lead to the females' dormitory, he immediately bounced on them and asked if they could contact Lily Evans on his behalf. He was met with a lot of refusals and scoffs as it felt like every witch, except the 6th years, were coming out to breakfast.

That was, until Mary McDonald came wondering down the stairs. James wasted no time, believing he was acting with Gryffidor Chivalry to grab her arm and pull her aside. She let out a shriek, and upon realizing it was _James Potter _and not some axe murderer, she slapped him on the arm. James, for the most part, let it go.

"Is she up there? How's she doing?" James asked quickly taking a quick peek up the staircase.

Mary let out a huff and crossed her arms, looking up the stairs as well. "Well, imagine if you had your entire town calling you bonkers thanks to the real lunatic in the family. Guessing you wouldn't feel that great now, would you?" Mary said crossly, staring James down.

James ruffled his hair with a free hand, the other still clutching the letter tightly. "Yeah, okay, that was dumb to ask but… uh, well." James said weakly as he showed the letter to Mary. She had to lean in to read the sender's address and name but once she did, her blue eyes went wide.

"That little-"

"Yeah, but, Lily ran upstairs before I could give it to her and… well, I can't exactly go up there right now can I?" James asked, and Mary uncrossed her arms and held out her hand.

"I'll take it." She said, the bangles on her wrist swishing around. And James just held the letter to his chest as he pushed his glasses further up his nose bridge.

"Actually… I was wondering if I can give it to her? I feel bad to pass it off to you..." He said hesitantly as Mary rolled her eyes at him as she placed her hands on her hips.

"She's currently staking out on her bed and I have no idea if she'll be coming out to classes today-"

"This is Lily Evans we're talking about here Mary! Of course she'll go to her classes!" James exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air as his temper started to rise.

Lily Evans, as far back as he could remember, hardly skipped a class. She had this irksome feeling of 'guilt' every time the topic came up. She was worried that she would disappoint professors or that she'd miss out on something important. Now, James knows this because he has repeatedly bragged to her about this with Moony in hopes that Lily would be impressed with a bad boy (she is not, but she did laugh at all of his stories on his day off so hope was still there). In fact, her guilt complex was so advanced that she felt the need to turn up to class even with the worst head cold in the world.

James remembers that incident particularly well because Padfoot was partnered up with her during potions and begged her to go back to bed. Unfortunately, she didn't and that's how the entire male dormitory got cold (Padfoot, being the more dramatic one made a huge nonsense out of the whole ordeal).

Either way. Lily Evans never skipped class.

"Potter, she just had nearly the _entire _town of Surrey write her awful stuff! Give her space! You can give her that retched letter later." Mary said stubbornly.

"Well, I think it should be done now."

Mary raised her eyebrows at this. "You want me to go upstairs" She gestured to the staircase, "and rustle her out of her bed and be all, 'Oh, sorry Lily, I know you're having a craptastic day but Potter found a letter from that bitch of a sister who told the entire town you're in a mental institution but do you mind coming down to collect the letter? Potter says it's important.'" Mary hissed out sarcastically, as James let out his own angry sigh.

"It's her sister Mary!"

"Who put her in an awful situation-"

"What are you two fighting about?" Came a voice from upstairs, and both Mary and James jumped up when they saw Lily walking down the stairs. Her bag over her shoulder, her hair in a messy bun, and her eyes rimmed red.

"Lily, you don't have classes until later. Don't you want to go rest?" Mary asked, giving James a look as she peered up towards Lily.

Lily shook her head and wiped her cheeks. "Nope. Figured I should get some work done down here. Don't you have class in a bit?" Lily asked Mary, tilting her head to the side as Mary let out a sigh.

"Muggle studies. But I can skive if you want some company-"

"It's alright. I'll be fine. I promise." Lily said sternly, as she looked down at her watch. "You're sweet Mary, but I'll deal with Tuney later. Just, don't be late cause of me, okay?" Lily said quietly, and Mary nodded her head. Before taking off though, Mary climbed the remaining steps and gave Lily a hug. Lily was quick to receive it and even nestled her head against Mary's for a few seconds before they pulled apart.

"Bye." Lily said to Mary, lifting up her hand and giving her a small wave as Mary waved over her own shoulder, as she walked out of the portrait hole.

"So, what were you two arguing about?" Lily asked, walking down the remaining steps until she was at the same level as James.

James fiddled with the envelope for a bit in his hands. He gave Lily a look before handing her the envelope.

"It was left behind." James said quietly, pushing up his glasses for what seemed like the thousandth time that morning. Lily's mouth made a small 'O' as she took the letter from him. She looked around the common room to find no one sitting around the fire place. Nearly everyone was in classes or in bed.

"I guess there's no day like today." Lily muttered, before opening the envelope and scanning the letter. James was unsure what to do with himself. So he just stood there shuffling his feet around, hoping to become useful in the next few seconds.

"Right. Well, that it explains it." Lily said darkly as she started walking over towards one of the better arm chairs in the common room. James raised his eyebrows as he started to follow her.

"What… what did it say?" James asked hesitantly, sitting across from Lily in the armchair.

"Turns out, that Vernon _and _her retched friend Yvonne heard the howler that I sent her." Lily said, while placing her bag on the floor and tucking her feet underneath her. "Petunia, being angry that I sent an owl to destroy her room and a howler to embarrass her… well, her boyfriend suggested that I must be mad and she went with it. Made her boyfriend and Yvonne swear not to tell a soul." Lily pushed back a strand of her hair. "Of course, Yvonne has always been awful with her promises, so she naturally tells the entire town." Lily said bitterly as she turned her head to face the fire.

"I'm sorry." James said lamely, he was hunched over his legs, his elbows rest on his knees. "That was a low blow if you ask me." He said quietly, Lily nodded her head at this.

"I agree. I just… God, James, I truly _hate _Yvonne. And Tuney sometimes." Lily said quietly as she stared down at her legs. "I mean, Yvonne is just pure evil-"

"And your sister?" James asked quickly, wondering if he missed the part that rinsed Petunia with some sort of holy water.

Lily shrugged her shoulder. "Honestly? I don't really blame her. I can understand her losing her cool over me. The amount of times she had to lie to me is quite extreme. I'm honestly surprised that it didn't happen earlier."

"You're-you're forgiving her?" James asked incredulously. Drawing back on his legs and leaning back on his chair.

Lily frowned and shook her head. "I mean, no, but yes? It's confusing. I guess, I could see Yvonne shaming me more across the town than Petunia." Lily scoffed as she rolled her eyes at the ceiling.

"To be honest, Yvonne is the truly the spawn of evil." Lily said bitterly as she stared down at her hands.

"Why's that?" James asked, leaning back on his chair.

Lily stared at her feet, as she started to bite down on her lower lip. "Well." She said slowly, "Yvonne played a rather nasty prank on me when I was younger."

"Oh?" James prodded, as he leaned forward (he could never sit still) and rested his arm on his knee, and put his head on his hand. He hoped it looked like he was being attentive and thoughtful.

"Yeah. Uh, she gave me this 'make over' and then told me to march up to the boy I liked at the time-"

"Wait, is this the ex-boyfriend?" James asked suddenly.

Lily rolled her eyes and laughed a bit. "No! This was another bloke. I must have only been twelve or thirteen or something." Lily said, "Anyways, who it was isn't important-"

"Not to you." James said bitterly, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he started to pout.

"Will you just listen?" Lily snapped angrily and James, for once, realized what an arse he was and stood up straighter in his chair, placed his hands in his lap and nodded on for Lily to continue.

"Okay. So, I went up to this bloke thinking that I looked fantastic or something when in reality, my hair is a mess and the make up looked like it was done by a clown. It was _awful. _And then the guy made fun of me in front of his friends, and I was young then and thought my entire _world _was crashing or something. And then, Tuney's friends made fun of me and I just bolted home. And then I got into a huge fight with Petunia-" Lily said sulkily.

"About what?"

Lily waved her hand in the air to dismiss the question. "Something stupid. I mean, we fought about the incident and other things. She was right and I was being my usual stubborn self." Lily muttered darkly. James was smart enough, for once, to realize that he shouldn't try to push his luck with Lily on the matter.

"And Yvonne was the mastermind of the prank?" James asked, and Lily laughed.

"Oh yeah. She practically shoved me into the guy and orchestrated the world's worst make over. And now, it seems like she helped spread that I'm this nutcase that needs to be locked up –"

"Let's get her back then." James said simply, as he knotted his hands together. Lily stared at him incredulously.

"It's a simple operation. We just need to charm some make up products for all these adverse side effects later in the day. We can easily charm some parchment to be a letter head from some company and said she won a raffle…" James said, and Lily brightened up a bit at his suggestion.

"You think we can do that?"

James scoffed at her, "Think? I _know _we can do that. But if we're going to pull this off… we'll need a little help from dearest Padfoot… and to skive potions."

"We don't _really _need to do that-"

"I know, but we're covering old materials since we just turned in that essay-"

"Can't we do it after class?"

James raised her eyebrows. "Evans, you are partnering with the _Marauders _on this operation. We take pranks seriously and believe that one should dedicate every waking second once an inspiration hits. Now, we're _only _missing potions. And we all know that Slughorn will do whatever his most prized possession says-"

"I can't just tell him I want to skive class! Are you insane?!"

"Have you met me? Of course I am! Anyways, if you're not willing to bluntly tell Slughorn your deepest desires to hang out with me-"

"That is not why I'm doing this-"

"Then Padfoot and I have a dramatic exit that we've _always _wanted to try."

Lily drew back slightly as she examined James' mad glint in his eye. "Should I be worried?"

James laughed. "Just… volunteer to take us and try to look like you're in pain if Padfoot touches you. I guarantee you that we'll be able to spend the rest of the lesson working on Yvonne's prank."

"Okay…" Lily drawled out as she looked down on her watch.

"Time to leave soon?" James asked, as he tried to peer at Lily's watch.

"Yup. I guess I'll see you in transfiguration." Lily said, as both James and her stood up. They pair of them started walking over the dormitory stair case.

"This thing that we're planning… it's not _dangerous. _Right?" Lily asked weakly.

"Well, it'll _look _dangerous but completely harmful. Promise." James said, throwing her a wink as he dashed up the stairs. Leaving a very confused Lily behind.

* * *

**AN: **Alright! hope you enjoyed! Part two is coming this week! :) Leave a review!


	7. Operation Oscar, Part 2

**Title: **The Guide to Pranking (By Lily and Petunia Evans)  
**By: **Nesma**  
Disclaimer:** Do not own this world.  
**A/N: **Well, back from an extremely early morning. Fingers crossed for happy results today and for reviews from lovely readers like yourself! Check back on Tuesday for another update! Enjoy!

* * *

Sirius Black, as it so happens, was waiting for the day that Prongs would alert him that Operation Oscar was in motion.

It was his favourite plan out of all of the operations that the Marauders had schemed together in the late nights. This particular operation was planned after Moony and Peter made him and Prongs watch a lot of muggle films. _The God Father, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, _and countless James Bond films. Though Sirius suspected that Moony made them watch it for some cultural appreciation (especially since one of them won the Academy Award or something); Sirius only learned one thing from the films.

Acting, in the muggle world, was a legitimate career. Of course, in the wizarding world, there were some acting experiences but most wizards and witches had to truly gain experience in the muggle world before they could truly break into the wizarding entertainment world. Either way, all the films inspired him to reach for his own dreams as an actor.

In fact, he was so serious on this vision that he boldly marched into Professor McGonagall's office on a beautiful day in fifth year and exclaimed loudly that he wanted to be an actor. He had done it very dramatically, with fake smoke, a flashy robe he found in the room of requirement, and what he considered his loudest voice yet. Professor McGonagall merely looked at him as if he was a poorly trained cat or something and shrugged. "I was expecting _far _worse Black. Really now, disappointing as far as your antics go." She said grimly before discussing more 'serious' and 'credible' career options (she had quickly rejected modeling and told him that though he would make a very nice hair model, that he best stick to auror or something of that sort).

At first, Sirius was absolutely crushed by Professor McGonagall's abysmal comment. Not bad enough? Not dramatic enough? Did she _know _how her cold comment slashed his dreams? Rendered him utterly useless during a pranking extravaganza with Prongs? Yet, as time moved along (in a span of a few hours), he only realized that she was giving him _constructive _criticism. Of course! He couldn't expect himself to be a worthy actor in only a few weeks! He had to practice! Truly hone his skills and such in order to be worthy of an Oscar nomination!

Thus, Operation Oscar was born. Sirius Black had invested _hours _into acting in the small dormitory room. Prongs has stumbled on him as he dramatically saved the robe that Sirius clutched so tightly. Moony and Wormtail have seen, and critiqued the scene heavily, of when Sirius withered to death on his bed (Moony made _one _too many critiques in Sirius' opinion). Wormtail often helped him make his death look more realistic. Placing spells that would make Sirius swear (or appear to sweat, he always maintained that he had no sweat glands). Wormtail also did research on illnesses and even suggested a few for Sirius to act out, in order to make the performance look more realistic.

Then, they all took turns playing the second infected patient. Moony, was easily the worst. Most likely because he only read through the scene once before stating that he would _never _be part of Operation Oscar. Furthermore, he had no enthusiasm or passion. When Moony 'moaned in pain' he only rolled his eyes and said the line in a dead pan voice. That was alright though, for Wormtail was a far better actor. He truly got into the role, so much in the role that it struck fear with Sirius (he couldn't be upstaged after all!). Prongs, though not the best, easily had the best chemistry with Sirirus. He prompted Sirius to truly act his heart out, to put more thought on the tones he would use and the face expression.

At least, this is what Sirius and Wormtail thought. Moony, would comment on the fact that he believed that they were fools but it would be very entertaining to see the pair of them die in a classroom and he also requested if this could happen in Professor McGonagall's course.

What was Operation Oscar for? One day, the Marauders would need to skive from a class; however, there is the meddlesome problem that ditching a class was an offense worthy of detention. Which, was a great shame in Sirius' eyes because, really, letting gifted children waste away in detentions; letting their brilliance and happiness ebb away at the hours of scrubbing the castle's floor. No, this was _not _one should wither way to life.

Well, this is what he dramatically told Professor McGonagall and Professor Sprouts once when he was caught by the pair of them of messing around in the green houses (there was a plant that he thought would look _wonderful _next to Snivellious' bed). Professor Sprouts buried her face in her hands as she tried not to laugh at him. Professor McGonagall, bless her heart, merely rolled her eyes and told him that the speech would work on someone like Professor Slughorn but not on her. And promptly gave him detention. Sirius figured this was her way of telling him that he was getting better.

Anyways, Operation Oscar involved some profound acting. Perhaps some tears. Maybe a laugh here and there. And hopefully, striking a some genuine fear in students hearts as Sirius Black acts out his potential death.

* * *

"I still don't understand the plan!" Lily hissed at James as the pair of them were on route to Professor's Slughorn's office.

James rolled his eyes as he kept his eyes ahead of him. "_Evans, _just play along-"

"To _what _exactly?" Lily asked her steps quickened to keep up with James' pace.

"Look, it's Padfoot's plan so just, go along, I have no idea of your acting abilities-"

"_Why _do I need acting abilities?" Lily asked, a slight panic in her voice.

"Evans, this way, your reactions are authentic. You haven't even done a read through with us-"

"I'm sorry, but there is a _script _to skiving class?"

"Of course! You think Marauders leave anything up to chance?!" James asked, heavily offended that Lily would think that the Maruaders were lazy in their attempts to wreck havoc on the castle.

"Wouldn't it be easier to just, not show up to class?" Lily asked and James stopped in the middle of the hallway, casing Lily to bump into him. He turned around and glowered down at Lily who took a step back, her eyes wide as James stared down on her.

"Easier? Evans, Maruders often go down the road less traveled-"

"Oh my god." And that's how James would know that something had truly scared or angered or surprised Lily; whenever she slipped into Muggle expressions versus the Wizarding ones. "Are you _actually _referring to Robert Frost?"

"Maybe. Moony makes us read things sometimes." James said hurriedly, swiping the air with his hand as if there was a fly in the air. "Either way, Maruaders are visionaries for all future trouble makers. We experiment, we practice, we hardly leave anything to chance-"

"I beg to differ." Lily mumbled, crossing her arms as she stared at James. He decided to continue on as if he didn't hear her.

"-we are _good _at what we do because we do the unexpected. We practice. We are in a league of our own. And you have to trust me and Operation Oscar to get us out of class. Safely and with no detention. Can you do that?" James asked seriously, taking a step forward and pushing his hand out for Lily to shake.

She eyed his hand dubiously, as if she were making a deal with the devil rather than James Potter (to some, this would be the exact same thing).

"No one will get seriously hurt?" Lily asked, inching her own hand towards him, as if she were about to pull back any second.

James laughed, and grabbed her hand before pumping it a few times. "Harmless! Yes! Unless Wormtail messes up a spell, but we can fix it quickly. Do not worry Evans, just follow our lead." James said joyfully, as he continued his path to Potions as Lily looked around; worried that someone had caught their deal before she found the courage to move her feet.

* * *

"I thought I requested for Professor McGonagall's class." Moony moaned as Sirius told him the plan as they were settling into the dark classrooms. The table situation was such that Sirius and Prongs had a table in middle row, while Moony and Wormtail were sharing a table to their left. Evans was sitting behind them with Mary McDonald.

Sirius thought it was rather unprofessional of Prongs to even _hint _to Evans what was going to happen next (after all, what would happen to the authenticity of their performance? And let us not neglect the very deep discussion of mixing acting and reality and the bigger questions of theater). Of course, Prongs being devoid of any deeper knowledge of the arts, simply rolled his eyes at Sirius and told him not to get his knickers in twist as he sat down on the bench next to him.

Sirius decided to 'forget' about him during his acceptance speech for his Academy Award.

"Any chance of reconsideration?" Moony whispered, leaning a bit over the space to talk to Sirius. Sirius gave him a million dollar smile and a wink. Moony rolled his eyes and pulled himself back to his table as he determinedly looked straight ahead. Wormtail, on the other hand, leaned forward and gave Sirius the thumbs up. Wormtail's enthusiasm was clear, as his grin was wide and he was giving two thumbs up rather than one.

Sirirus decided that Wormtail would be the sole member in the Marauder's clan to receive recognition at the academy awards.

Sirius gave a wink to Wormtail's direction, a more subtle one than the one he gave to Moony. It was his way of telling Wormtail that it was go time. Wormtail tucked his hands underneath the table and his face morphed into a stern look as he turned his attention to the front of the class where Professor Slughorn was ruffling through papers on his desk.

His heart was pounding. This _was _his moment.

Sirius attention was also focused on the front, as Professor Slughorn went to the front of the classroom and started to clear his throat. It was at this moment that Sirius casually looked down at his arm to find that it was turning bright red and boils were multiplying on his arm. He felt nothing, it was an utterly painless spell with an easy remedy. Though the effects were scary (and slightly grotesque to watch).

Sirius took a deep breath as he grasped Prongs' arm tightly, allowing the fear to flood through his body as he started to breathe, no, wheeze at his desk. He tightened the grip on Prongs' arm, despite the boy's attempt to pull away from him.

"My… arm." Sirius gasped out, as he clutched it to his chest as he closed his eyes. Ensuring that he wouldn't watch as the people nearest to them would turn around in their seat curiously. He heard James lean back and prod Evans, passing her a note or something, he briefly mentioned this to Sirius. Though Sirius hardly remembers as he was focusing on perfecting this moment.

"PROFESSOR SLUGHORN!" Sirius rasped out, opening his eyes and stumbling sideways and opening his eyes. People around them gasped as Sirius looked around, panicking as he groped for a ledge to pull himself up. He grimaced heavily, screwing up his face as he pulled himself with difficult. When he opened his eyes to find Professor Slughorn slightly closer, his mouth slightly open as he eyed Sirius up and down.

"My arm!" Prongs wailed, Sirius made a considerable effort to turn his neck sideways to find Prongs drenched in sweat. The boils on his arms were all over his hand and itching up his neck. Though, the terrifying aspect was his eyes.

The dreamy eyes, that Sirius has teased endlessly about were no longer the hazel colour that girls at Hogwarts have learned to love and lose. The whites of his eyes were stained red and against the boys' pale complexion and lanky frame; Sirius could understand why people were scooting away from the most popular boys of the year.

"I think… I think they need to go to the hospital wing." Evans said meekly, her arm raised in the air, her voice trembled as her gazed shifted between the two boys with utter fear washed in her fear.

Professor Slughorn stumbled, "Miss Evans! Your arm!" He rasped out, and Lily looked up and shrieked as she that the boils on the boys were on her arm. She started to whimper as she clutched it close to her chest.

"What did you _do_?!" She snarled, her own eyes starting to stain red as she looked up to Sirius. The anger in her voice with the fierce glare was utterly terrifying. Every Gryffindor in the room lost their courage; Sirius saw Moony gulping loudly and exchanging looks with Wormtail.

"Me? I didn't do anything! It just happened! You know I would never do anything to you my love." Sirius whispered, tilting his head as people gasped. Whispers erupted as Lily's jaw went slacked and Prongs shot Sirius a murderous glance.

"I love you _so much_. We'll find a way to get over this together my dear-"

"You _son of a bitch._" Prongs snarled, as he whipped out his wand and pointed it to Sirius. Wand pointed directly at Sirius heart, and his gaze was unmoving. Sirius summoned tears into his eyes, wondering how it would look if he cried.

"Prongs… please… I never meant to hurt you! It… it just happened!" Sirius said desperately, clutching his arm more closely to his chest as he heaved another deep breath as the whispers started get louder. "The love we had-"

"The love _we had_? You told me that you were in love with me this morning… was it all a lie? Are you throwing us away for _Evans?_ Is she really worth it?" James whispered, tears brimming in his own eyes as his wand hand started to shake. And even Sirius had to gulp as he saw Prongs' heart break in thousands of pieces.

"I _told _you they were lovers." Sirius heard someone whisper in the crowd.

"I think we need the hospital wing!" Lily shouted as Professor Slughorn focused his attention on the three of them. "I… I think it's addling with our minds!" She wailed, bending forward as she clutched her head.

"Go… just… go to the hospital wing." Professor Slughorn said quietly, and shook his head slightly as if to clear his mind. Sirius glanced at Lily whose face fell, as if disappointing a Professors was far more devastating than seeing a loved one _dying _in front of her eyes.

"We can come back-"

"Let's go Evans." Prongs said gruffly, grabbing his bag and kicking the bench as he circled around to face Lily.

"But-"

"Lily. We have to go." James whispered, tilting his head down as he reached for her hand, and tugging on it silently to the door as Sirius moaned his way out, stumbling into table as people shrunk away from him.

When the trio was safely out of the classroom, and out of ear shot, James stood up at full height. The gloom on his face erased with a large grin on his face.

"That was brilliant-"

"Oh, couldn't have done it without you mate-"

"The way you brought Lily in-"

"The entire castle thinks we may be lovers though." Padfoot said, shrugging a bit. James shrugged back at him, "I'm okay with that."

"Excuse me! But I'm not okay with people thinking that I'm in some weird love triangle with the likes of you two!" Lily said angrily, balling her fists as she stared at the two of them. Her eyes were still a frightening shade of red.

James heaved a sigh and pushed his glasses up. "Relax, no one will _actually _believe that you and Padfoot are a couple. That was the most unrealistic aspect of the operation-"

"Yeah, but how else could I bring Evans in? Someone had to take the leap." Padfoot said, pulling out his wand and waving it around. Their skins were cleared and their eyes back to their normal colours, Lily gaped at him, marveling at her own hands.

"Neat spell, right? Wormtail found some ace spells one day in the library. Loads of fun." Padfoot said, grinning as he pushed some hair out of his eyes.

"Let's go – we have some work to do. Operations Yvonne Sinclair is in motion." James said in a deep voice, hoping that Lily would be fooled that he was still 'suffering' from the spell. He lead the way as Padfoot followed him blindly while Lily looked back at the dungeons before sprinting to catch up with the boys.

* * *

When Sirius first entered the boys dormitory, he was very perplexed. Prongs, on the other hand, just walked right through and placed his bag on a bed that would be Prongs' bed if it _was _their dormitory.

"What happened here?" Padfoot asked wearily, as Lily followed Prongs' actions. Prongs was standing near the foot of his bed and started scratching the back of his neck as he looked around shifty. "I, uh, cleaned up?" Prongs said, wincing a bit as Sirius jaw went slacked as he gaped at the room.

"Is everything okay?" Lily asked, sitting on Prongs' bed. And Sirius couldn't help but notice Prongs' neck starting to redden as he noticed that Lily was sitting on _his _bed. And for once, Sirius realized that it was not the time to lecture Prongs on cleanliness and tidiness.

"Yeah… just give me a minute to freshen up the room. Why don't you two start pulling the materials, yeah?" He said, putting his own bag on his bed while Lily and Prongs started to assemble in the aisle between Prongs' and Remus' beds. As Lily pulled out make up brushes and various other products, Prongs ruffled through his bag and pulled out a transfiguration book. Sirius reached into his trunk and found where Prongs stuffed his dirty clothes. Sirius started flinging them around the room, and leaving a trail of parchment and quills as he walked around the room.

Lily looked thoroughly confused as Prongs looked up at the ceiling, as if hoping to pull the strength to deal with Sirius that day.

"What?" Lily asked, turning to James who snapped his back to face her. He bobbed his head onto the side.

"Well, I even though I spent my entire _lunch _period cleaning up this pig sty, I somehow forgot how _sensitive _Black was to a clean room-"

"It disrupts my creative process, you know that well." Sirius yelled across the room as Prongs rolled his eyes.

"Anyways-"

"You didn't have lunch? I have some snacks in my bag if you want some." Lily said hurriedly, pulling her bag closer and pulling out some crackers that were tied in a small bag. "Take some, and we can go to the kitchens later if you want something more." Lily said, pushing the bag towards Prongs who gingerly took it.

"Thanks." Prongs said, as he opened it and started to pop some in his mouth. "Do you normally carry snacks around?" he asked, the crunching sound could be heard to where Sirius was currently messing up the room.

"Of course. I get hungry a lot, I like to snack." Lily said, brushing a strand behind her ears as she smiled at James. "Why? Don't you?"

"No!" Sirius yelled loudly as he walked over to the pair, "He complains through an entire lesson and it's the most annoying thing ever. You'd think he's starving to death." Sirius said, sitting next to Prongs who shot him a dirty look as he started to pop more crackers in his mouth.

Lily laughed at the two of them as Prongs continued to eat more crackers. "How about this, I'll start packing more snacks and if you want some food you can always pass me notes. Deal?" She said, grinning as James jaw became unhinged.

"You'd do that?" James asked, shocked that anyone would be so kind.

"Yeah. Why not? It's just an extra two seconds to do." Lily said, smiling brightly at him as she fiddled with the make up products in front of them.

"Okay… thanks. I'll take you up on them." Prongs said quietly, as he pushed the glasses up his nose. And Sirius had to roll his eyes at the two of them.

"Alright! Shall we get down to business? Now, Prongs and I have done similar prank though not as extensive as this one… care to explain what you're thinking of doing with the make up products?" Sirius asked Lily, clapping his hands together and rubbing them.

"Well, James mentioned something about once a person applies the make up and after a time delay, the makeup product could either turn colors or change substance. Would it be hard to do since the time delay has to start once the make up is on the person? And not in the container?" Lily asked, brushing her hair back and tucking her feet underneath her.

Sirius tilted his head back as he squinted down at the products.

"Well, I guess it depends on what you want to do with each item. I think we have to map out how we want each product to change into when on the person? For example, lipstick is probably something that you just want to change the colour and not the texture, right?" Sirius asked, as he plucked a particularly red shade out. Lily nodded as she started to fiddle with the products.

"I'm thinking that we should leave some items alone? So, the lip liner and the pencil eye liner should stay the same. We'll just need to charm the packaging to the fake company that we're using." Lily said, placing those items to her right.

"Now, I think you're right with the lipstick, changing colours would be interesting. Though, I think with the mascara, we can transform the eyelashes. Nothing too extravagant?" Lily said, pulling out the mascara.

"Shall we have the foundation change a shade or two lighter or more orange?" Prongs said, pulling out the foundation and twirling it in his hand." Lily nodded, as she stared at the blusher.

"I kind of want to make it into this green colour." She said, weighing the product in her hand. "Think that would be bad enough?" She asked and the boys nodded.

"Yeah, because the hair products will create a real mess. We can have it create tangles and give the impression of dandruff no problem." Prong said quickly, twirling the can in his hand before setting it to the side.

Lily nodded as she looked at the items around her. "Then, if we feel like it, we can experiment with the perfume." Lily said as she stared down at the small bottle.

Sirius grinned at the products around them. "Well, shall we start experimenting?"

* * *

By the end of the afternoon, all of their arms had been marked with various products, checking on the time lapses. Their arms were varying shades of green, blue, orange, sparkles, and other assortment of colours. When Remus entered the room, he found the trio's faced marked up to various degrees.

Padfoot was sporting a bright blue lipstick, his face was an awful shade of orange, while his eyelashes (though normally long) looked as if spiders and small bugs were crawling through there. Prongs was no better, with his cheeks blushed with green and blue (as if he had a nasty accident). His hair, though always a mess, looked like a disaster zone. It looked worse then Snivellus, which was saying something. Lily, was sporting a yellow lipstick, that looked like it was bleeding badly along the edges. Her eyes were sporting a tacky blue sparkle colour that clashed horrendously with her pretty green ones. He also noted that Prongs had two pair of lipstains on each of his cheek. The exact shade of Lily's (though, to be fair, there were a pair of lips on his neck that matched Padfoot's shade).

"I take it that your little operation was a success." He said walking closer, only to stop in his tracks as he sniffed at the air. His nose wrinkled in disgust as he looked around the room for the source.

"It's the perfume. Too strong?" Padfoot, spraying Remus with some pink liquid. Which smelled good, it was a little sweet for him, but nothing compared to the actual smell in the room.

"It'll turn foul in about twenty minutes. Though, the user won't be able to tell." Prongs said quickly, as Remus took a seat at the edge of the trio.

"Where's Wormtail?" Padfoot asked, craning his neck to the doorway.

"Finding out about the rumour mill." He said testily, making eye contact with Padfoot. His way of telling him that Wormtail was being _Wormtail _at the moment for their little operation.

"Shouldn't he be back soon? You stopped by the library judging by your book bag." Prongs said, tilting his head Remus' bag.

"Yeah, he should be back-"

"So, interesting take on what you three did today." Peter said at the doorway, huffing a bit as he walked into the dormitory.

"Oh Merlin, what are people saying?" Lily asked, as her eyes followed Peter as he dumped his bag at the end of the room before returning where everyone was sitting.

"Well, no one believes that you're lovers with Padfoot. You acted too shocked and angry." Wormtail said, shrugging his shoulder as Lily let out a breath that she was holding in.

"Thank goodness-"

"Hey! I would be honoured if you were my lover!" Padfoot said indignantly, tapping her foot with his own as she rolled her eyes. "Sorry Sirius." She said grinning at Prongs who had a large grin on his face.

"Though, a surprising number of people believe the love between you two." Wormtail said, leaning back on the wall, crossing his arms and smirking at Prongs' shocked face while Padfoot grinned ear to ear.

"My acting was so good-"

"They think we're lovers?!" James cried out as he turned to Sirius in disgust.

"Hey! Don't look at me like that! I'm a good looking bloke. Millions of girls would want to be in your place. Plus, I'm stronger than you so I would make one great spoon-"

"Ugh. You drool a lot in your sleep." James said, as he stared at his lap.

"And you know this how?" Lily said wickedly as everyone in the room roared with laughter other than Prongs. Who, liked his normal sour self, just frowned at his hands.

"Oh! You know what would make it better? Let me give you a hickey!" Padfoot exclaimed excitedly as he leaned to the side as Prongs battled him off. For a fight between the boys, especially if one is trying to impress Lily, it was very pathetic. There was more flapping of the hands rather than real punches.

"There's a charm for that, you know." Lily said quietly, a small smile on her face as Sirius looked elated as Prongs shot her a desperate look.

"You wouldn't-" James started but was immediately muted as Lily pulled out her wand. He eyed her as she crawled over and placed her wand on James neck, who was quick to angle it to give her more space.

Without muttering a word, a bruise formed at his neck and she pulled away quickly as she examined her work. She leaned across Prong's lap as she did the same thing to Padfoot who was laughing in his seat.

"Can you make Prongs' bigger? I need to uphold a reputation-" Prongs was quick to hit Padfoot roughly as Lily crawled back to her own spot as she laughed. She was gathering her things as the two boys fought again.

"And I shall have none, for I am no lover of Sirius Black!" She said happily, as she hopped her way out of the group. She turned to face them and did a small curtsey.

"Thank you for your help dear Marauders. This was fun. I hope we shall do business again soon." She said, giving her own wink before flouncing out of the room. Prongs eyeing her every step of the way.

As soon as she was out of the room, Padfoot turned to Prongs. "Alright, you're suppose to have eyes only for _me._ Not her!" He cried, as if he was hurt. Remus could only laugh as another fight broke out.

* * *

For about two weeks and a half, Petunia heard nothing from Lily. There were no howlers, no annoying owl, and no clever prank delivered in a box. Petunia had a lot of time for her thoughts, as she was immediately grounded after the particular incident of Lily's ex-boyfriend's mother (the women was an absolute banshee). Though, Petunia thought it would be in Lily's right never to talk to her again.

She only hoped that this wouldn't be the crater that would damage their relationship forever.

* * *

**AN: Good? Bad? Let me know via reviews! Tuesday is the next update so let me know!**


	8. Yvonne's Gift

**Title:** The Guide To Pranking (by Lily and Petunia Evans)  
**Author:** Nesma  
**Disclaimer:** None of these characters are mine.  
**AN:** Right. Just finished an interview... which means it's time for me to post a chapter! Hope you enjoy! Will be posting another one this Friday! :)

* * *

_October, 1975_

"I am so sorry Petunia. You know that I had to tell him! He dated Lily-he needs to be protected when she comes home." Yvonne said, scoffing at herself as if it was so clear as to why she spread the vicious rumours about Lily. Her apology sounded more of an explanation as her tone was devoid of any sort of sympathy or empathy. Of course, Yvonne was resting on an old, formal armchair in her either wise pristine white room. The walls plastered with magazine pages: fashion spreads, make up ads, bands and singers, and men that she found attractive. The vanity was settled in the corner, and it was covered in make up supplies. Eye shadow cases opened, lipstick containers with the lipsticks peeking over the top and brushes cluttering the table top.

Petunia eyed the girl from her pink bedspread. Yvonne was very content and relaxed in her spot. She clearly avoided the fights that took place in the Evans household this week. Screaming matches between the three members. Many strategic meetings on how to clear Lily's good name while avoiding throwing Petunia under the bus (after all, Mr. and Mrs. Evans still loved her despite her horrendous mistake). They finally settled to telling the truth, that the girls were fighting and things had gotten out of hand. Some silly 'pranking' between the two. Aren't teenage girls silly?

The plan mostly worked. Some apologized to Mr. and Mrs. Evans regarding their gossiping. Others admitted that they never believed it. Though, there were still neighbours that were very generous and seemed deaf when Mr. and Mrs. Evans tried to explain the situation. However, Petunia was still severely punished. She was hardly allowed to leave her room and dinners at the table were downright painful thanks to the silence. Though Petunia was never sent there, it was easily implied that she should be ostracized with her meal in her own room. Though, enough time had passed in the household that she was welcomed back to the dinner table and her parents even allowed her to go out with some friends that evening (Petunia had to lie that she was actually with Yvonne).

Petunia gave a sigh as she started to fiddle with the bedspread. "Well, it landed me in huge trouble at home-"

"Tuney, he needed to know!" Yvonne exclaimed indigently, throwing her hands in the air, cutting Petunia off and shaking her head.

"You know it's not true? Right? I was mad at Lily for other things, she is at a school that's… special but not for any particular reasons." Petunia flustered, feeling her own anger heat up as she crossed her arms.

"It's okay Tuney, you can trust me." Yvonne said, leaning forward and placing a hand over her heart. It would have looked caring and sympathetic if the girl didn't then wink and started to giggle.

"Right. Well, as long as you know the truth…" Petunia said doubtfully, pushing herself off the bed as she wondered over to a package that was laying on the floor in front of the bed.

It was the whole reason why Petunia came over that day. Yvonne had called her all up clearly ecstatic about some package she received. She refused to divulge any more secrets over the phone but insisted that Petunia came over to see for herself what a fab package the girl received. Petunia was very used to Yvonne's showing off tactics, though this was different as Yvonne refused to tell Petunia out right what she received. Petunia was tempted to see if Yvonne's story had any credibility.

"What is this?" Petunia asked, picking up the pink flowery paper wrapping. The flowers on it looked like cherry blossoms, weaved around one another into a very pretty pattern. The wrapping itself was scented with lavender. There was a letter among the wrapping that Petunia stared down on. The letterhead was also pink but the paper was white and the ink was black. It was in a very pretty cursive and there was something about the handwriting that looked familiar. However, it was a very pretty cursive and she doubted that she knew anyone who could write so well. Though, there was something about the wrappings and the letter that made Petunia's skin crawl and the hair on the back of her head to stand up.

"Oh, turns out that I've a valued customer at a number of beauty stores that they passed me along to be a tester for this new brand!" Yvonne said gleefully, clapping her hands together as she led out a squeal. She stood up from the chair and bounced over to the box and picked it up.

"It's suppose to be wonderful! The next big thing! Lots of celebrities are endorsing it and _none _of the products are tested on animals. It's very chic." Yvonne said, grinning to herself as she walked with the box back to her vanity. "In fact, I was thinking of trying the products tonight when we go out. Want to try some?" Yvonne asked, turning around and giving Petunia a smile.

Petunia sucked her breath in as she scanned the letter again. There was something about it that felt familiar. Something about the way it felt, just… _something. _She feigned confusion as she started back at Yvonne.

"Maybe. I wouldn't want to waste your products. Can I see what you got though?" Petunia asked and Yvonne nodded her head as she went to the closet. "Knock yourself out." She yelled out as she disappeared into her massive closet.

Petunia started to pull out the items. Hair spray, lipstick, nail polish, mascara, foundation, eyeliner, lip liner, concealer and so much more. Some of the items felt strange and unfamiliar while others felt like she was at home. It was only when she was holding one particular lipstick, twirling it in her hand that the memories flashed in her mind.

The time with the figurine bear. The time with the flowers. The time with the swings. And every other time that Lily's magic seemed to burst through her veins and into the air. This was _Lily's _doing. And Petunia grinned to herself and almost started to laugh as she stared down at all the make up products. She often forgot how smart her little sister could be.

"You know what? I think I might borrow the nail polish. Is that alright?" Petunia asked, yelling over her shoulder as she held each one until she found the one with Lily's magic trace on it.

"Of course!" Yvonne said, sauntering in with a robe, her hands on her hips. "Borrow whatever you like!" Yvonne continued, stopping at the mirror to examine her reflection in the mirror.

"Thanks!" Petunia said, as she held on tightly to the nail polish. "Figured out what you're wearing?" Petunia asked as she eyed the outfit hanging on the door of the room.

"Yup! And I love what you're wearing!" Yvonne said happily, almost skipping to her vanity as she started to examine the items she was sent. "I can't _wait _to test these items out! They look so fab!" She squealed as she started to put some primer on her face. Petunia smiled, and was extremely grateful that she brought a camera along with her that evening.

After an hour and a half of getting ready, the girls were finally ready to hit the town. As they pampered their faces and painted their nails, Petunia started to doubt herself. It had been years since she was able to sense her sister's magic. Did she incorrectly assume that Lily performed this masterful prank? Did Yvonne actually get randomly selected to be part of a beauty test?

"Shall we take a photo before we take off?" Yvonne asked, staring at herself in the mirror for the millionth time.

"Yes!" Petunia exclaimed, as she rummaged through her bag to grab her camera. Fortunately, the pair of them had perfected the act of self timer (the correct height and such) that Petunia knew exactly where to sit and where to stand. They took a few photos before they head out the door and into the evening.

It was only when they were on the way to the pub that Petunia noticed that the nail polish that she used was chipping slightly, and it was different colour than she remembered (only a few shade lighter but it made a difference). Frowning slightly, she looked up to find that Yvonne's entire makeup selection was morphing. Or at least, it looked like it.

First, the foundation started to become orange. The eye shadow no longer looked chic, but this tacky bright colour that Yvonne would never be caught wearing. The lipstick was turning bright yellow and bleeding a bit. Petunia bit back her lip as she focused on walking and listening to Yvonne's chatter.

"Tonight will be ace! Will Vernon join us?" Yvonne asked curiously as she opened the door to the pub.

Petunia shook her head. "No. Had to work. But it'll be a girls night. Let's take _lots _of photos to remember the evening!" Petunia said gleefully. Thankful that for once, Yvonne's vanity was coming into use.

Fortunately for Petunia, everyone was so scared of Yvonne (especially after the latest Lily incident) that hardly anyone had the courage to tell her that the makeup was a scam. Instead, she _insisted _that plenty of photos of her and Tuney be taken. Petunia only obliged as she smiled widely in one photo after another.

It was only when a bar tender asked Yvonne rudely what on_ Earth _happened to her face that Yvonne started to realize that something was wrong. One trip to the bathroom, and Yvonne was shrieking her head off as she tried to wipe away the make up. Despite Petunia trying to wipe the make up off with a wet cloth and some soap, the makeup would not budge.

Yvonne cried as she stared at her reflection. Her hair was a mess (and not an elegant one). She had bright yellow lips that contrasted badly with the red lip liner. The foundation was basically orange with green flusher on her cheeks. The mascara clumped everything and looked atrocious, and her eye shadow was bright blue and sparkly. The one thing that was normal was the primer that she used and the nail polish.

"Did you not notice this?" Yvonne had asked angrily, as she scrubbed her face raw with the wet paper towel.

"No! Not at all! It was so dark and you know how weak my eyes can be sometimes!" Petunia said, shrugging as if she were truly sorry and baffled by the turn of the evening. Plus, Yvonne never corrected Petunia when she put herself down.

"Right. Well. No point of staying here. Might as well go home." Yvonne said sadly, throwing the pristine wet towel away as she glared at her face.

"Don't worry – a shower will help." Petunia said kindly, patting Yvonne her back as Yvonne rested her head on Petunia and started to sniffle.

"This is the worst night ever! You _promise _not to develop the film?" Yvonne asked shakily, as she looked up at Petunia who nodded. "While you were in the bathroom, I took out the film." Petunia said, taking out a canister filled with old receipts and such. "Figured it was up to you to decide." Petunia said wisely as Yvonne threw the film into the garbage.

"Let's go." She said, stomping out angrily as Petunia followed suit. She bowed her head down so that the girl couldn't tell that she was smiling. She couldn't _wait _to send Lily the developed film.

* * *

**AN: **Loved it? Hated it? Let me know with a review!


	9. Ginger and Hazel

**Title:** The Guide to Pranking (by Lily and Petunia Evans)  
**By:** Nesma  
**Disclaimer:** Not my world.  
**AN:** Some Jily moments. Enjoy!

* * *

James Potter just had a very long day, after spending some extra time on the pitch (massive work out today) and another hour or so in the library (there was a nasty potion essay due soon), it was finally time for him to stagger into the Gryffindor Common Room. Though, he failed to account the eagerness of Lily Evans after experimenting with spells for an hour or so.

"James! Just the person I wanted to see!" Lily said excitedly, practically bouncing on her feet as she accosted him at the portrait hole.

"Me?" James said, looking over his shoulder and tightening his grip on his bag. He was very tired after all.

"Who else would I be talking to? Honestly James, you're so weird sometimes." Lily said, rolling her eyes as she grabbed James' sleeve and dragged him over the corner to the common room. James barely had a moment to marvel what was going on before she stopped to look around the surroundings. She frowned as she turned her head in every little way.

"Quite loud, isn't it?" She said, and James nodded as he felt so _tired _he could drop on the floor. He really just wanted to sit on some pillows. Really, he wanted his bed. "We can go upstairs? Moony is still in the library, Padfoot and Wormtail are in detention, and I'm… here." He said quietly, smirking a bit at Lily as she started to grab her bag, books, and what looked like a large bowl.

"Uh?" James asked, scratching his head and point at the clear glass bowl. Lily followed his gaze and her eyes lit up.

"You'll see!" She said, bouncing on her feet again as James nodded, trying very hard to feign some excitement. Though, he was very confused as to why Lily Evans would want to come upstairs to their dormitory. With a glass bowl.

"I warn you, Padfoot made sure that it returned to the disgusting state that it was the second you left." He said wearily, as he walked up the stairs with Lily behind him. Lily snorted, "It can't be that bad."

"Bad enough that the houselves don't come in anymore." James said, as he reached the top, his hand on the door handle as he faced Lily. He pushed his glasses up his nose as he started at her confused state.

"Let me take the time to apologize in advance what you will see and smell-"

"Smell?"

"Yes, smell. I am going to go in first and tidy up around my area and then when I shout, you can come in. But not a moment too soon or else I'm going to ban you from the dormitory."

"Who says I want to come up again?" Lily said, smirking as James' felt his stomach drop. His face must have shown it because Lily laughed, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm kidding. Do what you must to soothe your soul. Just remember, I'll be judging regardless." Lily said in a sing song voice as James rolled his eyes, wondering if these comments would be the death of him.

"Right. Well, you'll see in a bit." He said, as he opened the door a crack as he wedged himself through. He gave a sigh as he stared around the room, realizing that the mess was so deep that there was no way that he could possibly clean it all up in time for Lily. He pulled out his wand and staggered closer to his bed where he was able to magic the clothes and books around his bed into his trunk. He quickly made the bed, forsaking magic as the last time he tried to use spells for a simple routine he started a small fire.

"Come in!" James shouted, as he dropped his bag next to his bed as he hopped on. He leaned against his headboard as Lily dropped her bag next to his. She placed the large clear bowl on the center of the bed and a handful of petals before she climbed onto the bed, crossing her legs.

"Your room is in fact a disaster and I am judging." Lily said brightly, as she pulled out her wand, and water started sprouting from the tip of it and filled the bowl completely.

"Impressive magic-"

"Shut it, you know that this isn't it." Lily said, tucking her wand behind her ear as she plucked out a petal. James frowned at it and leaned forward.

"Is that… a _lily _petal?" He asked, and Lily nodded her eyes shining brightly as she stared into his. "You ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." James replied, smirking in spite of himself as Lily dropped the petal into the bowl. It floated before it started to sink to the bottom, yet, right before it hit the bottom of the bowl, it morphed into a gold fish. It gapped around in the bowl and swum about.

James felt his own eyes widen as he stared at the bowl. It had been a while since magic astounded him as much as this did.

"That's… that's really impressive." He said, pulling the bowl closer to him as he leaned over to the side to examine the fish closely. Lily giggled from her spot.

"Isn't it? I was inspired by the whole make up line we did and thought I would take it to the next level."

"Evans, I know transfiguration. This is a whole other game. We didn't even try animal transformation… and wow. I'm just. Wow." James said, smiling at her as she grinned back.

"What are you going to do with the petals and such?" James asked, leaning back on his headboard and placing his hands behind his head.

Lily shrugged. "I thought I would maybe send one to Tuney as a peace offering. Maybe one to Professor Slughorn since I got the impression that he didn't fall for the Operation Oscar as others did…. And that's it." She said, grasping her feet as James surveyed her.

"I'm sure he'll _love _it. But you seem to have extra petals." James said, nodding towards the pile and Lily looked down. She looked back at James and gave him a quizzical look.

"James, would you like a goldfish?" She asked, and James' face broke out in a grin. Though, he was proud of his ability to wipe the grin off his face and shrugged without a care in the world.

"I mean, if you have extras… wouldn't want those potential goldfishes to, uh, drown or get thrown out." James said, leaning forward as Lily gave him a knowing grin.

"Alright Potter, would you like this one?" She asked, pushing the bowl towards him and James reached out for it. Trying very hard to make sure that his eagerness didn't shine through his voice.

"Yeah. Of course. I'll take this one. I mean, after all, wouldn't want to waste a fish." James said, as he brought the bowl closer and then glanced at his night side table, frowning as he did.

There was a pile of random pieces of parchment on it. A few books that he kept there for reference. And, of course, several shredded chocolate wrappers. Padfoot was still trying to frame him.

"Uh, right, well." James said, looking at the mess to Lily. Who had a look of revulsion on her face.

"I don't eat that much chocolate. That was Padfoot. He's framing me for a crime I'm not guilty of. I have a physique to maintain…. Because of Quidditch?" James rambled, scratching his head as Lily started to smirk at him. "Right. I can clean this up. I'm a wizard after all." James said, starting to get self-conscious as he pulled out his wand. He took a deep breath and with a wave and a jab, the contents of his bedside table flew and crashed spectacularly all over Padfoot's bed.

"I meant to do that. Time that he knows what I think of his devious ways." James said sternly, as Lily laughed and he placed his fishbowl next to his bed.

"What should I name it?" James asked, turning to Lily as she shrugged. "Whatever you want! That's the beauty of owning a pet." She said as she stared at the fish swimming about lazily.

"How about… Ginger?" James said, as he saw Lily roll her eyes. "That's very creative James, yes, please name your fish Ginger." She said sarcastically and James beamed at her.

"What about you? Shouldn't you be getting a pet from all of this?" He asked as Lily shrugged again. And that's when James got the brilliant idea to make Lily a pet.

"Here, let me have one of those petals. I'll make you one, as a memento for our teaming up to prank some of the most devious women in the world." He said, reaching out a hand as Lily rolled her eyes, but with a smile on her lips as she dropped a petal into his outstretch hand.

He pulled out his wand and stared twirling into his hand as he remembered the spells needed to change the outcome. And then, he steadied his wand and pointed it directly to the petal. A few flicks and a swish and he felt the petal change in his hand. Though the physical properties were the same, he could feel that something had changed. The trace of magic on it. He handed the petal back to Lily as she eyed it suspiciously.

"Here, we can transform another bowl." James said, as he reached for a bowl that was on Sirius's bedside. It was, thankfully, clean other than the crumbs of a late night snack. James tapped this item as it grew into a clear bowl and quickly filled it with water.

"Go ahead, see what happens." James said, pushing the bowl towards her as some of the water sloshed out of the top. Lily eyed him as she dropped the petal into the bowl. James held his breath as the petal floated down to the bottom before it blossomed into a magnificent blue beta fish, with the edge of the fins tinged red.

James beamed at his work as Lily let out a laugh. "You're _such _a show off sometimes!" She exclaimed as she laughed at this fish. James shrugged as he gave her a wink, "Hey, any place I can show off my talents, I'll take it. Though, to be fair, you did most of the hard work… I just modified a few things. Now, if you wanted a crab or something then that would be truly groundbreaking work." James said suggestively, moving his eyebrows as Lily laughed again.

"Oh no, please, I like my beta fish. He's beautiful. I don't think I can deal with a crab. Though, I would name it after you considering how _crabby _you get when you're hungry." Lily said, biting her lower lip as James pretended to be outraged as Lily laughed again.

"Things have gotten better… now that you bring extra snacks!" James said and Lily rolled her eyes as she pulled her bowl closer and gazed down on her fish appreciatively. "Now, what shall _I _name this one?" She said, looking to James who merely smiled at her and shrug.

"I don't know Lily, that's a great thing about owning a pet. You can name it whatever you want!" He said, in a higher pitched voice as Lily scoffed as she gazed down on it.

"I think I'll name him…" and she stared up as her eyes roamed his face before settling on a spot and grinning. "Hazel. His name is Hazel." She said again, smiling at James as he stared at her quizzically. "Why Hazel? Oh wait, I have hazel eyes." He said excitedly, ignoring his gut instinct to play it cool as Lily snorted.

"Yes James. Just as I have ginger hair." She said, as she stared down on her bowl. There was about twenty seconds of silence before the door of the dormitory banged open with Padfoot and Wormtail. Each looking exhausted and both stopped in their footsteps when they found that Lily Evans was sitting on James' bed.

"Uh, we can come back-" Wormtail said, walking backwards slowly as Padfoot had a look of indignation on his face as he let his bag drop from his shoulder with a loud bang. His eyes welling up with tears and James wanted to chuck his fishbowl at him when he realized that the _prat _was going to do.

"My lover, with… my former lover. How _could _you?" Padfoot wailed, looking up at the ceiling and shaking his head. "You two BETRAYED ME!" He shouted angrily, pointing an accusing finer at the pair of them. He started walking backwards slowly to the door, his finger still pointed right at them as he shook his head to get some hair out of his eyes.

"NEXT TIME LILY. IF YOU WANT TO BREAK MY HEART, JUST TELL ME! DON'T JUMP INTO BED WITH JAMES DANIEL POTTER!" He shouted, and bumped Wormtail to the side as he walked directly into the doorframe. At this, he grasped the sides of it before leaning back and shouted into the doorway, "YOU HEAR ME LILY EVANS? YOU. IN BED WITH JAMES DANIEL POTTER! HOW COULD YOU? MY HEART! OH HOW IT BURNS!" As Sirius said, leaning forward as he clutched his chest in a dramatic fashion, as he slowly crumbled into the door way.

"Help me Wormtail… the only true friend I have left." He whispered in an agonized tone as Wormtail rushed over and offered a hand to pull Padfoot up. And Padfoot gave them one long angry glare before turning swiftly towards Wormtail.

"Come on Wormtail, I can tell when we are UNWANTED." He shouted loudly in Womtail's face as he turned his face away, a look of disgust was on his face.

"Let's go, and I can CRY INTO YOUR ARMS ABOUT HOW JAMES POTTER BETRAYED ME WITH LILY EVANS." Padfoot shouted loudly, as he walked down the stairs as Wormtail shrugged at James before following the ravings of a lunatic (according to James that is).

He turned to face Lily, fearing that her anger would erupt right there. Fortunately, she was laughing hysterically into her hands. And it wasn't long before James joined in, he let the tears gather in his eyes.

"I'm… I'm sorry for that prat. I guess his Operation Oscar was his way of telling us that he loved us?" James wheezed out, as Lily nodded her head, stilling laughing as she stood up.

"Anyways, I would rather not start another love war between you so I'll see myself out. Thank you for the fish again, he really is lovely." She said, as she lifted the bowl before clutching it tightly to her chest.

James nodded and stood up, "I'll walk you to the door." He said, thinking that this was a kind gesture even though his bed was the second closest to the door. Lily nodded as they walked silently. In the doorframe, she leaned on one side as he leaned on the other.

"Night James." She whispered, a flush gathering in her cheeks as she stared down on the fish.

"Night Lily. Sweet dreams." He said, lifting a hand as a way to send her off. Lily frowned as she stared down on her fish.

"I can't really hug you, so, here you go." She said, alternating the bowl underneath one arm as she stood on her toes, placing a hand on his chest as she gave him a quick peck on his cheek. She gave him a small smile before bouncing down the stairs, yelling out, "Sweet dreams!"

James was still standing there frozen, a hand to his cheek as Moony walked through the door.

"What's this of you betraying Sirius with Lily? I'm honestly very confused by the fake love triangle to be honest." Moony said quickly, walking to his bed and James following suit.

"Yeah, me too. Been a bizarre few days." James muttered, as he started to gather his things for the evening. Thinking that he would indeed have some sweet dreams that night. And hoping Lily would too.

* * *

**AN**: Love it? Hate it? Review it!


	10. Shopping for Truces

**Title:** The Guide to Pranking (by Lily and Petunia Evans)  
**By:** Nesma  
**Disclaimer:** Obviously not my world.  
**A/N:** Another chapter! Hooray! Check back on Friday (though, there may be a delay for the next chapter - all depends on work stuff). Have a fabulous day!

* * *

"_Why _are we here again?" Yvonne whined for what felt like the hundredth time that day. Petunia resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she pushed aside another hanger with a dress on it to her left.

"I told you. My mum told me I had to make up to Lily with the rumour by replacing her dress." Petunia lied through her teeth as she looked to the rack of dresses next to her. She eyed it carefully before she rummaged through it. Yvonne clicked her tongue as she followed Petunia.

The truth, was that Mrs. Evans had no idea that Petunia was shopping for Lily with the goal to replace the yellow dress that Petunia 'accidentally' ruined. In fact, Petunia wasn't even sure if Mrs. Evans even realized that the whole debacle started with a missing dress. Petunia sincerely hoped that her mother knew nothing, it made it a lot easier to be nicer to Lily if her mum was blissfully unaware.

"Right, the 'rumour.'" Yvonne said, heavily hinting at the last word. Petunia turned her head on her search to stare at her friend. Which was very hard to do since Yvonne was wearing an overlarge pair of sunglasses that easily took up half her face. Despite it being a few days after the makeup incident, Yvonne wore sunglasses inside the store as the eyeshadow was slowly coming off. She had a pale blue scarf that was lazily placed around her head as her beautiful locks were tinged green (though Yvonne's natural color was coming back, just slowly).

"I'm telling you, it is all nonsense." Petunia insisted, focusing her attention on the row of dresses as she clicked her own tongue with impatience as she rejected the last dress on the rack.

"What are you looking for anyways?" Yvonne asked, her curiosity getting the best of her as she edged closer to Petunia to stare at the rack of dresses.

"There is a yellow dress that Lily loved that got, er, destroyed by accident and I'm trying to replace it." Petunia muttered, shifting uncomfortably on her feet as Yvonne looked at the dresses. As if Yvonne would care whether Petunia was guilty or innocent.

"You mean the one that looked better on you?" Yvonne asked nastily, as if Lily had the audacity to have similar tastes than Petunia.

"Uh, yes, that one." Petunia said quietly, crossing her arms as she stared down at her feet.

"Right. Well, I'm guessing we should go to the store next door. You're not going to find a yellow dress in the middle of autumn in this store." Yvonne said curtly, turning on her heel and walking out of the store. Petunia readjusted her purse straps before following Yvonne out. Despite Yvonne's obvious dislike towards Lily, Yvonne could never resist a shopping quest.

The next store, Petunia eyed it carefully as she stepped through. She followed Yvonne's lead as they zig zagged passed different racks and sales people until they made it to a particular rack with dresses on it.

"We should be able to find the dress here." Yvonne said, as she started to eagerly push through the hangers on one end, while Petunia took the other end. It wasn't long till Petunia found a few very similar dresses of the original yellow one.

"Brilliant!" Yvonne said excitedly, clapping her hands together as Petunia held up the hangers.

"Right, now I need to try them… want to grab a few things Yvonne?" Petunia asked, tilting her head as her friend shook her head curtly. "Nope. I'll wait outside the changing room though." She said, as Petunia started to make her way to the back of the store. As Petunia chose one changing room, Yvonne settled across the room on the floor, crossing her arms.

Petunia quickly discarded her clothes and donned on the first dress. Though, upon one look into the mirror, she wrinkled her nose. The dress was more of a large bag and was very unflattering.

"No to the first one!" Petunia yelled out as she quickly tore the dress off.

"Shocking." Yvonne replied in an extremely sarcastic manner. Petunia was able to don on the second dress. It was flattering in all the right places, and the dress length was right at her knees. Examining it a bit closer in the mirror, Petunia decided to show the dress to Yvonne.

"What do you think?" Petunia asked, as she parted the curtain and leaned against the doorframe of the changing room.

With the overlarge sunglasses, it was very difficult to understand what was going through her mind. Though the wide smile on her face after five seconds was enough of an indication of what she thought.

"It looks ace." Yvonne said, as Petunia looked at the larger mirror in the hall. She twirled around a bit as she fingered the fabric of the dress.

"Do you think it looks similar to the other dress?"

"Eh. A bit." Yvonne said, tilting her hand a bit as Petunia frowned in the mirror.

"I'm going to try the other two in there." Petunia said, turning on her heel and reentering the changing room.

The third dress was an okay dress. It had sleeves that reached the elbows, was only slightly tight in places (Petunia suspected she chose the wrong size) and there was some embroidery on the sleeves and on the chest. It was a fine dress.

"Yvonne?" Petunia asked as she stepped out of the changing room and Yvonne immediately frowned at the dress. Yvonne shook her head vigorously as Petunia laughed and re-entered the changing room.

"It's not that it's terrible… it's just not like that other dress. That fitted you way better." Yvonne yelled out, as Petunia tore off the latest dress.

"Well, there is one more." Petunia replied, pulling on the last dress. As she turned to look into the mirror, she realized that it was certainly a contender for being _the _dress.

There was a ruffle lining at the top, but it was clinched at the waist (like the second dress) and it was slightly higher at the knees. Grinning to herself, she pulled open the curtain to face Yvonne who gave a thumbs up and a grin.

"Now this one is cute." Yvonne muttered as Petunia strolled to the larger mirror.

"Which one do you like better? The second dress or this one?" Petunia asked, giving a twirl and staring at her reflection over her shoulder.

"Depends." Yvonne said, Petunia faced her in time to see Yvonne shrugging her shoulders. "The other one was simpler, more your taste. But this one is cute too." Yvonne said, nodding to the dress as Petunia looked down on the outfit.

"I think Lily would like this one. She's known to have a more adventurous taste." Petunia said, as she strutted to the changing room.

"I still think you should keep the dress." Yvonne yelled, as Petunia changed out of the dress. As she was hanging the dress back on their hangers, she did stared a bit at the second dress. Perhaps treating herself and Lily wouldn't be a bad idea. With a grin on her face, Petunia strolled out the changing room with two dresses in hand as she headed towards the cashier.

Though Yvonne insisted on accompanying Petunia to the Post Office, Petunia suspected it was her way of trying to talk Petunia out on being nice to Lily, Petunia sent her away. At the post office, Petunia pulled the proper box and a piece of paper on which she wrote the following:

_Dear Lily,_

_I hope this package finds you well. Enclosed is a new yellow dress (I couldn't find the one I destroyed – sorry about that. It did look fab on us). I hope you like the new dress – I have the receipt so if it doesn't fit then send it back ASAP and I'll get a better size. I also purchased yellow dress for my own collection. It is simpler than your new one, but that suits me just fine (I'll send a photo later). Though I know that you're missing some cardigans... it's for your own good. I also refuse to purchase another cardigan for your absurd collection. I am sure you have twenty with you up at school and another twenty in the closet. You have a problem and I would rather not be an enabler in your life._

_Also, in the envelope there are some photos of a night out with Yvonne from a few days ago. Luckily for me, my 'Lily sense' came on as I was handling some of the product. I painted my nails with a colour that I think you changed? Let me know if I was right!_

_I think Yvonne looked gorgeous. I hope she meets your standards!_

_Love,_  
_Petunia_

_PS. Truce?_

* * *

**AN: Love it? Hate it? Review it! Next chapter will be more Jily time (because who doesn't love Jily?). Have a great day!**


	11. Yellow Dresses

**Title: **The Guide to Pranking (By Lily and Petunia Evans)  
**By:** Nesma  
**Disclaimer:** Not my world  
**AN:** Alright! Next week will be the last for this story. So, enjoy this week!

* * *

"Professor Slughorn?" Lily said, hesitantly popping her face around the doorframe of his office. He looked up, a tired look worn on his face.

"Yes Ms. Evans?" He said, placing a quill on his table and moving his hands to his lap as he surveyed the witch thoughtfully.

"Oh, erm, I'm not sick anymore so it's not as if I'm contagious." Lily said, venturing a step into his office. She was terrified that he thought she was extremely contagious; he had let it known multiple times during the Slug Club that he was a hypochondriac. Her hands behind her back as she clutched an empty glass bowl, trying very hard not to let is slip through her hands.

"Oh, good. Glad that you're all well then." He said briskly, as his eyes traveled to the piles of parchment on his desk. They were all stacked in such a precarious way that one breath could easily tumble them into one another.

"Yes. Me too." Lily said quickly, her eyes traveling to the floor before looking at Professor Slughorn. "I just thought I would come and apologize. I think Sirius got excited to show off his… acting talents?" Lily said, grimacing a bit as Professor Slughorn started laughing.

"My dear girl, I knew _that _part was an act. I have my eyes and ears you know." He said, a grin on his face as he tapped his temples. "Many were quick to confirm the lack of… well, romantic relationships you have with those two boys." Professor Slughorn said, resting back on his chair. Lily resisted a scathing remark about how it is not anyone's business about her romantic life, thank you very much. But, there was still the need to apologize. Perhaps another time.

"Right, well, I still thought I would apologize. In fact… I brought a gift." Lily said, balancing her glass bowl with one hand. At this, Professor Slughorn's eyes grew wide in excitement. He was _always _eager for gifts.

"It's just a transfiguration spell that I've toyed with." Lily said hurriedly, as she stepped forward to his desk but hesitated as she tried to figure a way to place her bowl on the table without damaging his dysfunctional organization system.

Professor Slughorn though was quick to simply a wave a wand as the papers flew in their piles to different ends of the room. The desk was clear but with bits of quills, ink pots, and scratch marks on his desk.

"Go ahead! Place it down." Professor Slughorn said in giddy fashion as Lily placed the bowl on the table. She took her wand out and wordlessly summoned water to fill the bowl. Then, she placed her wand down next to the bowl and reached into her pocket and pulled a small envelope filled with lily petals. She reached out one hand with a single petal in her hand to give to Professor Slughorn. He simply gazed at her in a confused fashion.

"Take the petal. Drop it in the water." Lily said curtly, refusing to let her excitement shine through as Professor Slughorn wearily took the petal from her. He gave he a searching look before dropping the petal into the bowl.

The petal, like all the others, swirled around but once it got near to the bottom, a gold fish transformed. For a moment Professor Slughorn was speechless and his face was devoid of all emotion. He leaned in closer to the bowl and bent his head so that all Lily could see was a mangled version of his face through the glass. Then, he lifted his head and gave her a wide smile.

"This, this Ms. Evans is why I find muggle-borns the most interesting to teach. You are not used to growing up with magic, you are not dulled by the mundane uses. You all have a fabulous imagination when it comes to what magic can do. It creates small moments like these." He said breathlessly as he stared down at the gold fish.

"Some do it for a good and others for evil, am I correct?" Lily said innocently as Professor Slughorn eyed her. It was no secret of the terror that some of Professor Slughorn's students had unleashed.

"Now, now, we've been over this. Not _all _Slytherins are bad. Look at me!" He said joyfully, leaning back.

Lily grinned, "So _all _Slytherins are bad then?" She said, a smirk on her lips as Professor Slughorn laughed hysterically.

"My dear, you really should have been in Slytherin."

"Not a chance." Lily quipped, "Have a good day Professor." She said in a joyful manner, before she turned on her heel and walked out.

* * *

James Potter decided that though talking to Lily as a normal human being and having conversations with her like a sane thing was an improvement in his life. Though, he found that he wasn't as pleased about Lily's worries and frets about the aftermath of pranks. The girl was just a bundle of worry.

"What if she got seriously hurt? What if she's allergic to one of the products?" Lily asked quickly on one gloomy fall day (close to winter). They were sitting on his bed doing homework. She was doing Charms and he was doing some Herbology. There was no lead up to this question, none what so ever. Especially since the last question had to do with the _pages _that Professor McGonagall wanted them to read.

James gave a sigh and shut his book, and put it aside knowing that he was going to have to talk to Lily for a half an hour about this issue. "Lily, your parents would have written you already if you seriously harmed Petunia." James said reasonably, crossing his legs as Lily chewed on a quill.

"Still…" She said and James shut his eyes and summoned all his patience. And, at that moment, Merlin must have heard his prayers for there was a tapping on the window.

"An owl." He remarked, giving Lily a look before hopping off his bed and opening the window. He expected the owl to fly to one of the neighboring beds, instead, it flew straight to Lily and dropped a package before departing once again.

Lily dropped her quill as she grabbed the package. "It's from Petunia." She whispered, she looked at James with a petrified look before she immediately started to claw at the package – ripping off the wrapping and the box.

As she tore apart the box, James settled back into his bed as he eyed the box. Though he _did _enjoy a good prank, it was clear that Lily was not as fined tuned the whole, 'who cares about the consequences?' aspect.

Lily stared down of the contents of the package with a puzzled look. She pulled out an envelope that had a number 1 written across it. Giving James a bewildered look, she tore open the envelope and started to read the letter earnestly.

James held his breath as her eyes scanned across the letter. The second time, when she was clearly rereading it, Lily grinned widely and quickly discarded the letter and pulled out a second envelope that was labeled appropriately. As soon as the envelope was in shreds and the contents were in Lily's hands, she started to laugh hysterically, her head thrown back and James saw a tear or two leaking.

"What-" James started but the 'discharge' pile started to grow. And he quickly pawned through the photos of Yvonne and he started to join in on Lily's laugh.

Photos of Yvonne grinning proudly at her botched make up job. Her green hair. The sparkling eyeshadow. The bleeding lipstick. All of it was on her, while Petunia grinned ear to ear with her. Though there was nothing wrong with Petunia (except for her nails, the nail polish did look horrid on her).

"How did she evade this?" James asked, as he stared at the last photo of the two girls. As Lily grinned down on the photos.

"My sister… she's sensitive to my magic. She used to call it her 'Lily senses' when I was younger." Lily said, leaning back on the bed post as she bit her lip. "She could tell whenever I was doing magic or when I did magic… she was sensitive to my magic trace. I think she could tell that I manipulated the products. I mean, she did chose the nail polish that I charmed." Lily said, as she picked up the photo of Petunia's hand.

James nodded, "She's quite smart your sister… I mean, she's certainly evil at times but… she is smart." James acknowledged, leaning back on the bedframe and catching the box. "Wait, what else did she send you?" He asked suspiciously.

Lily grinned as she pulled a yellow dress out of the box. She stood up and held the dress against her frame and twirled around. "A yellow dress. In hopes of burying the hatchet and all." Lily said, as she stared down on the dress.

"Do you mind if I try your dress in your bathroom?" She asked, walking part way there and turning back to James when she heard no answer.

James had no idea how to answer the question. He certainly did mind if she used the bathroom. Mostly because it was in a disgusting state and it took Lily a while to get over the state of their bedroom.

"Well… you see… it's messy." James said, struggling to find the words that would best reflect the gross state of the bathroom. Lily seemed to have understood as her smile fell a bit.

"But!" James said quickly, grabbing his wand and pointing it towards the door. Muttering locking spells after locking spells. And then, James took off his glasses and turned around as he faced his headboard.

"You can try it! I won't look!" He said loudly, as if he was standing hundreds of feet away from Lily. He heard her laugh until he heard her discarding layer after layer. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to pretend as if this was an everyday occurrence.

Right.

"You can turn!" Lily squealed, as she hopped over the different piles to their one lone mirror (Padfoot's).

James turned around and smiled at Lily as she admired the dress in the mirror. It _was _a nice dress.

"You look… great." James said, struggling to make sure that he wouldn't let it known how much he liked the dress. Lily seemed not to notice as she grinned down the dress.

"It is quite fab." She said, as she smoothed the front of the dress down.

"Do you have a camera?" She asked James suddenly, and he was taken aback for a second before he scrambled to his trunk. Hoping that Padfoot hadn't borrowed it for something ludicrous like head shots or something.

"Right here!" He cried in triumph, as he turned around, camera in hand. "Wait, why do you want a camera?" He asked, letting the rational part of his brain supply the questions that needed to be asked.

"Petunia wants photos… do you mind?" Lily asked.

James gulped. "Not at all, only if you let me be in some of the photos." James said quickly, his palms sweating slightly as Lily rolled her eyes. "Why not?" She said and with that, James started to take photos. The first few shots were typical poses of her, hands on her hips and her head tilted in a smile. She insisted that he took some 'long shots' and 'close ups' (he was starting to think that Lily was a lot like Padfoot).

However, after a few snaps, Lily came over with James and helped him fiddle with the auto timer on his camera. There were a few 'In your face flash' shots in which they both laughed at how _awful _those photos may be before they figured it out. There were some traditional shots of the two. James awkwardly having his arm around Lily as Lily leaned in. There were a few of Lily wrapping an arm around James' waist.

But then, Lily started to tickle James and there were quite a few photos of the two starting an all out tickle war. Each laughing hysterically at the other. It was only minutes after the last photo was taken that the released that they had gone through an entire role of film.

"Well. That was fun." Lily said wickedly, giving James a wink as he huffed.

"Depends on what you think is fun." James muttered darkly, though grinning at Lily as she gathered her uniform and books.

"I should go back to my dormitory. But will you let me know when you're done developing the photos? I can't_ wait _to show Petunia the dress!" Lily said happily. James nodded as Lily skipped out of the room, her arms nearly dropping out of her arms.

James merely lied on his bed for a good five minutes, camera on his chest as he marveled his good fortune.

Days later, the photos came out. There were some beautiful shots of Lily but the ones of James and Lily were utterly priceless.

The 'traditional' photos of the two were cute. James, in the photos, was clearly nervous. Shuffling his feet and staring down at Lily who smiled unwaveringly into the camera. It was only when the tickle war started that you could tell the fun the two clearly had with each other. James' competitive sense was at play while Lily had no problem running in and out of the picture frame.

James showed her all the photos and Lily, of course, loved every single one. She took all the ones of her to send to her sister. Though, she did take one of the traditional photos and one of their tickle war.

"You can keep the rest. They are good photos. I may ask for duplicates later." Lily said, giving James a smile as he collected the photos to put away in a safe place.

* * *

_Dear Petunia,_

_THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE DRESS! It looks wonderful! I enclosed some photos of it! Send me the photos of your dress – I do want to see it after all! Also, I refused to believe that one can have too many cardigans. They are essential to any girl's fashion collection after all. I guess I'll forgive you though._

_As far as Yvonne… oh my goodness! How did you do it? You're so sneaky sometimes. You really must teach me your ways. And you were right! That was the nail polish I charmed. It was all quite fun in all honesty._

_Hope to hear from you soon!_  
_Love,_  
_Lily_

_PS. Truce._

* * *

**An: Love it? Hate it? Review it! **


	12. Epilogue

**Title: **The Guide to Pranking (By Lily and Petunia Evans)  
**By: **Nesma  
**Disclaimer: **Not my own world.  
**A/N: **Turns out... this is the last chapter. Thank you to EVERYONE who followed the story and gave it so many lovely reviews! :)

* * *

And so the truce between the sisters stuck. Petunia sent some photos back and for a while the girls were kind to one another. That is, until the Winter break of that year in which the two sisters found something new to fight about. Though, the fight was still innocent.

It was years later, when Petunia realized what Lily was sacrificing if she married James that the fighting became far more serious. Petunia had angrily stormed to the flat where Lily lived and the two yelled and screamed until their throats were raw. Petunia believed that her baby sister should come to the muggle world and assimilate with the rest of them. Lily thought her sister was trying to control her agency. It all ended with a nasty slam of the door.

They were polite but cold to one another. They still sent gifts to one another during the holidays, though it became almost a competition of which sister could send the uglier gift (Petunia usually had a knack of discovering delightfully dreadful vases).

Though the rift between them widen with every year the wizarding war went on, they each vowed that they would speak to one another once the war was over. Petunia _knew _she would find it easier to forgive Lily for staying in the world once she survived. And Lily thought it would be easier to maintain a relationship when she wasn't constantly in hiding and fearing for her life, her husband's life, and her child's life (not to mention if Voldemort found out about Petunia). They both knew that time healed all wounds and believed that they had all the time in the world to spare.

Neither of them thought the last they would have seen each other was in that dingy flat in the middle of London.

* * *

_November 1__st__, 1981_

Petunia feared that the magic in her family's genes had passed onto Dudley. For while Vernon merely chuckled at his son's screams and shouts, to her, it sounded as if there was a banshee sitting in the middle of her kitchen table. And Vernon just toddled away while Petunia was left staying in the middle of the kitchen with her fish's bowl in her arm.

The fish, Lily, was in need of a clean home. Petunia realized two nights ago that the fish was swimming in filth. And rather let the poor animal die (as Vernon had mentioned one too many times), Petunia stubbornly held onto the fish.

At first, she named it Lily since it seemed fitting. Then, later on in life, Petunia liked having something as small and insignificant be named Lily so that could yell and shout at this small 'Lily'. She found it rather brilliant. Yet, despite hating real life Lily, Petunia's feelings were rather tame towards the smaller one. Which was why it was so important that she actually keeps up with the fish's environment.

"Alright, it's okay honey." She cooed, desperately trying to prevent her ear drums from popping as she gingerly placed the bowl on the table and started to pull Dudley from out of his chair. Yet, he was still screaming and once he was freed from his chair, kicking madly in every direction.

It was only one kick to send the bowl from tumbling over the edge and breaking in a million different little pieces. Petunia merely shut her eyes as the banshee in her arms howled in rage at the newest soundtrack. Petunia _knew _that the fish would be okay so she went ahead and took the boy upstairs.

He screamed, howled, kicked, and punched the entire way up. It felt like a battle to change his diaper and a full blown war to get him into bed for his nap. And by the time she was finally able to close the door of his nursery, she almost gave into temptation to go to bed. Instead, she slugged down the stairs and back into the kitchen and picked up the petal in the middle of the broken glasses.

Usually, when Petunia handled Lily the fish as a petal, she could still feel the magic. She could feel it pulsing in her hand as she would put it to the side to clean the bowl. But this time, there was no pulsing. It felt soggy and wet and there was nothing special. The petal had aged quite a bit.

Petunia immediately went to the cupboards, her heart beating fast as she grabbed the first big cup she could see and filled it with water. Once it was nearly full, she put it to the side of the sink and let the petal drop in. It floated before descending down to the bottom. But instead of blooming into a fish, it merely sat at the bottom.

Petunia picked up the glass and inspected it at all angles. In the years after truce, she had never not seen this fish come to life. The petal never wavered, never aged, never acted as if it were ordinary.

_Perhaps she died. _A thought fluttered through her mind before she immediately shut her thoughts down.

There was no way her sister was dead. Things get old and they stop working. Besides, she could have sworn that she saw a fish floating about prior to the spill (though there was seed of doubt). Yes, of course, her baby sister was alive. It was just her fish that was dead.

Petunia drained the water from the glass and plucked the petal. She patted it dry carefully before wondering over to the bookcase in the living room. She pulled out a Jane Austen book and placed the petal among the first pages. She made a mental note to ask Lily about magic disintegrating.

For the rest of the day, Petunia tried very hard to be focused on things other than her sister. She focused on cleaning the kitchen obsessively, from the cabinets to the counters to the fridge itself.

Then, during her afternoon walk with Dudley, she tried not to think about why there were so many owls flying about. She was trying _very _hard not to muse why so many owls were flying around delivering letters. Though, she let herself hope that maybe an owl would come to her proclaiming the war was over from Lily. Yes, she did hold onto that thought as she walked straight ahead with Dudley.

She tried to avoid the gazes of those in robes. She was thankful for when Dudley started his banshee cries as it covered up the conversation of the obvious witches and wizards nearby. Something had clearly happened about the war.

She tried hard not to ponder about it. She tried not to remind herself that her sister was actively fighting. Or about the letter was tucked in a novel by her bedside stating that her baby sister had to go into hiding. The same one that charmed make up products was fighting wizards like Snape.

Luckily, once Dudley arrived home, he decided to throw a tantrum and Petunia spent the rest of her day feeding, bathing, cooking, and putting Dudley to sleep. It was only when Vernon asked about her sister, out of all the days why this one, did she remembered.

There was no owl at her door. There were no visitors. And her husband brought up her sister. Petunia tried hard to hold onto her last grip of hope but found it loosening.

As she crawled into bed later that night, she resolved to send Lily a letter. Damn the war and hiding. If she was permitted to send a Christmas gift while her sister was hiding she was allowed to send a letter. Besides, she had to write about her fish's death.

Lily would want to know. But would never find out for the next morning, when Petunia found Harry she screamed, and dropped her hope (and milk jugs) and screamed until Vernon found her. He always thought it was because there was a baby on his doorstep.

He never realized that it was the moment Petunia found out about the death. The letter tucked into Harry's blanket was unnecessary.

There were some secrets that Petunia held on that Vernon, nor the world, never knew, and one of them was the infinite love she had for her sister.

* * *

**AN: Love it? Hate it? Review it! **


End file.
